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/*
all non-relevant code has been eliminated for the sake of display.
blocks of removed code are indicated by "// [...]".
wordcount: 183 bytes not including code markup.
*/

&empathy [ASCII:#178]; // Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.
&fault [ASCII:#212]; // Responsibility for a mistake or an offense; culpability.
&fear [ASCII:#213]; // A feeling of disquiet or apprehension.
&compassion [ASCII:#240]; // Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

// [...]

if ($redKing >= $blueKing) {
mask(&empathy, &fear);

echo :: {
Reflections of choices,
Large doses --
A dozen red roses.
Who loses?

I know the Blue King,
He lives in dreams.
He sets the stage,
He tells me who to be.
Tried so many times,
To talk some sense into me.
After all of his words,
What's left to believe?

The frustration of youth,
Writ large for all to see.
};

} elseif ($redKing <= $blueKing) {
mask(&fault, &compassion);

echo :: {
It's rough to face the truth,
When you're still young, like me.

After years of simply walking,
We sat, long hours, just talking;
Of things to come,
Of the deeds we'd done.
But the wish to be heard above the noise,
Eliminated most of my poise --
Left with nothing but a frown,
As the Red King came riding into town.

Elections are voices,
Hard choices --
A handful of thorns,
Who mourns?
};

}

// [...]

/* EOF */

------
For once as I, in Heaven climbed
Too high for truth to truly see
My sunken mind, drunken and blind
Saw the lie: The fool was me...


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Write Off: kings.exe"
by Rogan


Warning: mysql_fetch_array(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/lit/public_html/do.php on line 1995
Body blow
All in all, this is a wonderful piece. Certain, parts of this catch me like a punch in the gut. However, I find the code to be a little distracting and hard to follow, but it may be just be a narrow scope of vision on my part. You would've gotten a higher rating from me, but this being a competition and all...

( Posted by: Apathy's tears [Member] On: June 30, 2002 )

Codeslinger
Rogan,
I'm must admit there are lines in this that made the competitor in me cringe in fear, lines full of power and that angst I know all too well. But as previouslly stated I think the "code" was a bit much, and took away a little of the sheer emotional magnetism of the work. Just my two cents, buffalo nickels or whatever... Awesome piece beyond that, I guess I'll be seeing you in round two...

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: July 1, 2002 )

nail bitte
If the code is that bothersome to people that it affects their opinion of the work as a whole, I can always strip it away. To me, it was just a hardline way of expressing the duality of the whole endeavour.

Something beyond "red king / blue king" .. 'cuz that doesn't seem to get people's attention.

( Posted by: Rogan [Member] On: July 1, 2002 )

Frustrated reading
I know the subject of the write off was frustration but I got frustrated just reading this one, mainly because the code threw me off. I liked the piece for it's self though. At first I thought maybe the code was an accident like you copy and pasted and it fought back. But after reading the other comments and I realized it was intentional well that's to complicated for my small mind. Left with nothing but a frown, that was the best line of the piece in my opinion. Nice work Rogan and good luck.
~Jessica

( Posted by: jessicanm [Member] On: July 1, 2002 )

Richard said
Richard said we could rate each other. Here you go Rogan, sorry it would have been higher if not for the weird code stuff.
~Jessica

( Posted by: Jessicanm [Member] On: July 1, 2002 )

Codeboy
The code idea would have been more interesting had the subject of the poems been more related automatons or controlled choices or angst against technology, unfortunately is doesn't jibe as smoothly with the poem as it could. I think the code idea should be explored more, after all it is a 'language'. I'm just not sure this was a full on succesfull application of the concept.

( Posted by: kross [Member] On: July 2, 2002 )

Rating on code
Rogan,
Since I've already said my peace on this poem, I'll just add my rating and like the pretty lady said if there had been less code there would have been more love.

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: July 2, 2002 )

blue screen
Well, I have to say it really does hit home. And contrary to popular opinion, I really like the code. Then again, I've some limited C++ experience. BTW...I compiled the whole piece and I think my computer has the blues now. j/k

( Posted by: Khazra3829 [Member] On: July 4, 2002 )

re: kings.exe

I think this was a pretty good concept and I really liked it. The concept is also what kept me from rating it higher because it would be harder for those less computer savvy to catch. Still, very good concept and well written.

( Posted by: Crowe [Admin] On: July 7, 2002 )





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