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9

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9macbeth

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Make me feel so trigger happy,
Barrel pressed against my lips,
Gun powder never tastes so good,
Proclamation cartilage rips.

She burns so pure like gasoline,
Her lies are open wounds to taste,
Itís filthy clear and gritty clean,
Itís honey bitter polished waste.

Busy men in shining suits,
Afraid of purpose said to bleed,
Comfort reveals some funny truths,
Unforgiving pain in need.

Make me feel so trigger happy,
Barrel pressed against my lips,
Gun powder never tastes so good,
Proclamation cartilage rips.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Trigger Happy"
by AgainstElliot

Trigger
I have been reading some of your work, and I'm glad I have.

You have a great way of putting what I would call "fury" into verse. It's clever, and there are no wasted words.

This one is as mechanical as a gun piece (ugh, pun) should be. I really like your construction - particularly the repeat.

Thanks for the read.

L

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: May 2, 2005 )

Liked It :D
I liked this piece, the message was put across quickly and concisely, with all the feeling of the gun 'situation'.

Well done :D

( Posted by: t [Member] On: May 8, 2005 )





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