Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

those who cannot swim
will not drown in the water
if they stay on land

those who cannot swim
should not drown in the water
if they use a boat

those who cannot swim
should not drown in the water
if they learn to swim

swimmers never drown
unless they enter water
and even boats sink

water gives and takes life
at what level should you float
your choice sink or swim


------
The moment created this second, is a moment that's going to last.
It lives the full spectrum of time, the future, the present and past.
------


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "sink or swim"
by ivordavies

live or die

I like this one, my husband is terrified of the water and you brought back some of my memories of the Tennessee river in Alabama. I promised to save his life if went into the water, but instead I coached him on how to breath and not panic so he could float. It was fun, but of course I would have saved him.

I think you message is Live or Die

macbeth

( Posted by: macbeth [Member] On: April 28, 2005 )

Floatin' Hai.five
(off topic) Macbeth, you did save his life if he went in the water....


ivordavies,

hi! I really got a kick out of this one/five. I had fun beginning to count the number of phrases, words, syllables, 'stanzas'/haiku, number-of-ways-to-examine-it, etc... It was super entertaining! It made me think of wooden puzzles with ropes and/or metal pieces.

Clever, you know? And entertaining.

I ended up thinking "i am SERIOUSLY inebriated and incapable of this 'examination'."

It would be cool if your haifive had any fancy stuff like that in there. Also...

I wish that the first 3 did not repeat the first line. The last 2 were pretty sweet and you could do the same with the first 3 in a way equally as clever as the remainder.

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: April 29, 2005 )

can swim, Ivor...
kickin' hard and lovin' every minute of it...
then I'll sleep on this, with these natural floation devices God gave me, while I catch some
rays...enjoyed much, Sir Ivor...

just Robin...

( Posted by: Robinbird [Member] On: April 29, 2005 )

Sank or swam?
Life 'is' like the sea, a cruel mistress but a wonderful lover. I don't even know why I wrote this, although I spent a few years running small ski boats off the coast of Penang.

I nearly never posted it, I also was not happy about the repetition dying on the 4 stanza..I wanted it to continue on this one but the words were following my thoughts and had to stay.

I had a lot of fun myself unwinding this and looking at the cross interpretations... it was this intricacy that led me to finally post it.

Thank you to all who read this as I was very interested in your reaction as basically I wasn't sure about the piece,

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: April 29, 2005 )

swim
Ivor,
as usual I really enjoy reading ur works ..I like to reach and dig into deeper levels while I read them
most of times I got some lessons..

In the stanza that says:
those who cannot swim
should not drown in the water
if they learn to swim

I dont know really If I grasped the msg or not..
could it be saying: that we should not just stand still and have to move further ..go into experiences ..using one's sense to get a solution
I just connect it to the previous stanza..i think those who cannot swim ,will not sink if they "use" a boat
they will not sink if they tried to make their minds work and product smth out of them
do I make sense in that?

or it might be reffering not to experience smth unless u know its rules...
pls tell me more about it

regards
Hiba

( Posted by: fairgrace [Member] On: April 29, 2005 )

you've made my day!
Hiba,

You have just made my day! I was so absorbed in the many meanings I was trying to express that this one was hurting my brain. With your questions I am now certain it was right to post this.

The entire piece is asking 'back and to' questions...looking at life's needs, seeing what we need, after getting it realisation that possibly there was another way and finally trying to say we have choices and we have to make them, evaluate the learning and decisions, and even then be aware of our limitations and the limitations of the decisions.

ie: those who cannot swim
should not drown in the water
if they learn to swim

NOT 'will' not drown in the water.

statement:
swimmers never drown

realization:
unless they enter water
and even boats sink

Sorry, have I made it more confusing? I hope so I am still trying to understand it!

Have Fun,

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: April 29, 2005 )

I like an inner-tube
This poem, to me, speaks of risk. Be safe, or dare yourself. Yet, if you dare yourself, safeguard as well.
Yes, this speaks on many levels. And you break your comfort-place. There is repetition, but your well known rhyme is missing.
Ivor, this is a beautiful peice that speaks yet another side of you, and still the same poetic, respectable man shining through.

nice!
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: April 29, 2005 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: