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rays of dawning light
streak across the tall marsh grass
heron flies through mist


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The following comments are for "morning haiku"
by quill

morning haiku
I have 2 heron that fly across my morning commute fairly regularly. They brighten my day significantly. Your haiku conjures up that feeling.

Beautiful.

Lans

( Posted by: gibsongirl [Member] On: April 26, 2005 )

Thank you
Thanks, Lans for your comment. Aren't herons beautiful? I live near a lake and there's a heron who lives there who I see regularly.

Sorry for the first line being way to the right. I don't know how that happened. Do you know how to edit? I'm sort of new here, and I couldn't find an edit tool.

Michael

( Posted by: quill [Member] On: April 26, 2005 )

Quill
Michael,

I don't see it as being too far to the right. It may be one space off, but it's possible that it's just the way the font rests on the page. To edit the piece (in case you have a space in front of the 'r') you click on "manage writings" and edit the piece. You have a choice to either delete or edit. I'm not sure, but you may have to re-enter the queue. That bit is an admin question...

Personally, I did not notice! Look forward to more from you.

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: April 26, 2005 )

Lans,
thanks again. I noticed that all the other postings were spaced that way. I thought I'd screwed up. Guess I didn't after all. :)


Michael

( Posted by: quill [Member] On: April 27, 2005 )

Beautiful imagery...
This has the making of a fantastic Haiku with the editing of words that are not descriptive because the critique of Haikus' limited syllable count disciplines the creator not to use prepostions if they can avoid it...for example the words "of" and "the"...if somehow they could be replaced with more imagery words it would improve on this already beautifully written Haiku. And I hope you truly expected honest constructive critique as I do with my works...so we can master are passion... poetry writing.

( Posted by: ladyngold [Member] On: May 29, 2005 )

Morning haiku
Beautiful, peaceful image, Michael. I love this one. :-)

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: November 24, 2006 )





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