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First paragraphs of an adult novel

Chapter one (part 1)

Tears of disenchantment stung her eyes, escaping toward her pillow as Alexia lay paralyzed with indecision. Before that August morning in Maine, she had always tried to make things right whenever his temper flared. Her mother had taught her well; but her natural instinct to make peace was a double-edged sword. She felt the angry vibrations of pots and pans hitting counter tops and walls in the kitchen below and heard the nerve-pricking crash of shattering glass. That, was something new - the breaking glass, anyway.

Her stomach wrenched like the hull of a storm-weary ship, about to give up - about to submerge. This drowning feeling was nothing new. It had become an all-too-familiar companion, but this time was different. This time, her companion begged her to get out before it was too late.

Just moments earlier, she had smiled, thinking of him, rubbing the night from her eyes. Highlights of the evening before had flashed through her mind; how their shadows had danced against the wall to a slow jazz tune while mulberry candles burned, flickering against the stained glass window they had designed together... his hand resting gently at her spine, his tender words whispering brandy into her ear, as his soft lips dragged kisses down her neck.

But his lunatic low muttering and shouts of accusations quickly gripped her heart and chased the dreamy thoughts away.

Here, I share, with stark honesty, my life.


The following comments are for "Trail dust and Spurs"
by FeliciaStone

True hearts rending rendered with skillful beauty. You foreshadow a darkness all the more frightful in its' reality than some fanciful horror.

In other words(I always carry spares) I don't think this will end with "...and they all lived happily ever after."

But I hope there is room for "...she lived on, happily at times."

I hope this makes sense.

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: April 25, 2005 )

Soos - gore
Sorry, this isn't the gory one.

Actually, in this novel, the start of the story is the ending of a bad relationship, setting the stage for the leading man to step in and make a difference.

It was important that she had to decide for herself that the change was necessary, instead of waiting until things got uglier.

Most of this book is about an intense love affair and the personal growth of the leading lady.


( Posted by: feliciastone [Member] On: April 25, 2005 )

I like!
You really know how to make a story flow. Even had it been 1000 words, I still think that it would have flowed easily. The description is great and paint vivid imagery of the character's personality. My one criticism is that this increment was way too short. I get what you're trying to do by feeding the reader manageable portions, but the serving size that you're giving is about enogh to satisfy a bird. Longer portions of the story should be given because there isn't enough in the two hundred words you have served to get me hooked. I'd like a meal, not an an appetizer.

"I want some more please . . ."

( Posted by: TheGreatSage [Member] On: April 25, 2005 )


"They parted and she lived happily elsewhere later."

Well, that's different.

Never mind.

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: April 25, 2005 )

adults over 18 only?
If its an adult novel does that mean that there is gonna be sex? Will you have to be over 18 to read it?

( Posted by: ZonerZone [Member] On: April 27, 2005 )

Demeter - age is a number
Hey girl,

Yes, my husband is eight years my junior. I remember you writing something about that in a comment to one of your posts a while back. (I remember thinking - how cool. I'm not alone.)

Funny, I've never had a problem dating men much older than myself, but it was a real struggle to say "ta hell with it" and go out with my husband after we met.

Did you ever notice how the leading men in movies are so often old enough to the leanding lady's father? No wonder that seems comfortable to us.

However, I have noticed a lot of movies coming out with a leading lady who is much older than the leading man. It's still a new trend though; we'll know it's not just a trend, but accepted when the story with the older leading lady is not ABOUT her being an older lady.

Thanks for the encouragement on this piece. I'll be posting longer segments at a time - maybe by the chapter if they are not too long.



( Posted by: feliciastone [Member] On: April 27, 2005 )

Zoner Zone - Sex?
And you want me to devulge that info? It can get a little steamy in parts, but I'll guard the integrity of the plot by pleading the fifth.

Are you new to Lit? If so - welcome! I'll check your posts.

Thanks for stopping in and reading. Did you like it?


( Posted by: feliciastone [Member] On: April 27, 2005 )

Thanks. I had a minimum day today so I handed my poem in already.

( Posted by: ZonerZone [Member] On: April 27, 2005 )

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