I’ve lived here unseen for years
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Survived in unconcealed invisibility–
As translucent as the windows in the room you gave me,
But transparent as I may be, you can’t
Look through me each morning and see
A new day, speechless over you--
Seductively casting provocative hues
Constructing the inevitably blank day
In sound and fury and rapturous lies.
You found in your glance toward my eyes
No passion, only meaningless questions
That thrash upon your white, white floors
Bleeding and dying a slow death, deprived.
Crumbl’ing like time-worn walls, I watch you
Through the mirror, as you wash your face
And though ignoring me quietly, you seem
So close; a step, a thousand steps away.
Reposed and tensed in one painfully intimate
Moment never meant to be shared with me.
Relent from your reckless disdain for me!
I stay as close as possible to you all day;
You lay, compose your thoughts, and I press myself
Against the wall between us, writing
Nonsensed bits, all scraps of nothingness,
Of you, my pain, your name, my love.
And to explain it to you, I need
To let you read, but it would appall
Stage set white, bleed on your clean floors,
So I tenderly shut the lock for you.
I lie in earnest solitude, wondering
Do you hear my inner scream for mercy?
What do you see when you look at me?
Debris of body, once alive with meaning?
I see your blood rushing through you.
I envision surges of darkness within you,
In endless dawn-touched hopeful coldness
That brings promise of warmth tomorrow,
That brings promise of home forever.
She falls softly down from towering pedastools...