Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

Love is a feeling that I have when I see you
When you pass me by
When I see your eyes
That is the reason I hunger for you
For your touch at night
For your sensuality
You are the reason I live
You are the light which burns with my love
And for that you are my only love
A love which will shine to the stars above
And live forever in heavenly love
For this I am grateful that you do exist
For without you I am but a lonely centerpiece
I thank you by saying you are the light of my eyes
You help me forget the fears of life
I love you forever as I always will
For you are my life
And I am yours
Together in heart and soul

Related Items


The following comments are for "A Feeling"
by Rogue_Untouchable

I really liked this. The feeling and emotion was very evident.

I would look at the repetition of 'Love', a little, though. possibly a bit much(?)...

Anyway, nice job!


( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: July 2, 2002 )

Show, don't tell
This actually isn't a bad effort, but I think you should try to show this same situation visually and with word choices rather than just saying "you are the light which burns with my love," try making "light" a metaphor for the lover and go with that to convey the emotion.
Nevertheless, this is a good effort. Keep writing!


( Posted by: susanb55 [Member] On: October 25, 2003 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.