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Hey y'all,

Got a few acceptances that I thought I'd share. First, the stuff you can find online.

Available Now:

'The Lost Job'
The New Absurdist Anthology 2 (free e-book)

Thieves Jargon
(K, it's from March 11, but since it's poetry and I rarely do it I thought I'd include it)

May 1st:

'A Call to Arms'
Cafe Irreal: International Imagination

'Emergency Room Diner'
Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens

'I'm Impossible'
The Penguin (run by Pawn from
(No addy yet, but I'll let you know if you are interested)

Now in print:

'Fucking Faith'
Blackheart Magazine
(erotic poem hee hee under pseudonym)

'At the Beach'
Nameless Document

Just for fun, I'm going to post some of the rejection letters I've gotten over the past little bit, because, well, I think they are fucking hilarious and more people should bask in failure or at the very least learn from it ;)

Dear ****

Thanks for sending over **** for consideration for
publication in ****. Unfortunately, this isn't the type of story I
am looking for for the mag at this time. I think that the build-up so
overwhelmingly utilizes their hunger and desperation, that the ending is
given away a little too quickly when you mention the disappearance of the

Thanks for considering **** as a potential outlet for your writing, however,
and I wish you luck placing this tale with another publisher.

Mr Happy Rejection Man


Dear Mr. ****:

Thank you for your recent submission to NetAuthor's E2K. I'm afraid
**** won't work for us.

You've succeeded in choosing a theme most people can relate to. This is
good, but the piece suffers too much from language cliches and constructions
that people normally wouldn't say. The "core of [his] soul," for example,
lends an overly dramatic air to the narrative, where the overall tone of the
piece should be somewhat contemplative or immersive. Drama intrudes in this
piece, and it's because of unconscious word choice.

That said, I hope we haven't discouraged you from further submissions to
****. We look forward to seeing more of your work in the future.

The Onion Man

[As a note, this was one of the first things I sent out and the onion man had a point. It's all love, baby. Core of his soul, hah, what was this kid thinking? ;) ]


[This may very well be my favorite one, for obvious reasons =P]

Dear ****:

Thank you for your interest in **** and for your kind words about the website.

Although **** kept me interested for the entire length of the story, it does need more editing before it'll sell to another editor. Some of the paragraphs and sentences are too long, there's the odd misspelled word or lack of commas, and your conclusion is predictable and weak. The ending simply doesn't live up to the rest of the story. In short, this is a good story with the potenial to become a great story. Please visit my magazine so you'll have some idea of the type of bio you should include with your submissions. Also, if you'd like to receive payment for your work, always include your snail mail address with every submission.

[No sincerely for me!]


Hi there ****.,

Thanks very much for submitting your story and poem to us here at ****.

We will be reading over your work in the next few months and will let you know if we would like to publish it in our monthly on-line journal. In the meantime, please send me a 3-4 sentence bio as well as a photograph of yourself in .jpg format (and note the photographer involved if possible) so that we are fully prepared in the event of publication.

Thanks again. I will be in touch soon,
Mz. Smiles

[I post this because I never heard back. It was that bad, huh? ;) ]


Dear ***,

Thank you for submitting your story, ****, to ****.
There's much to like about this unusual and effectively written story from
an surreal point of view, but **** doesn't suit our needs at this
time. Other editors will doubtless be interested in this piece, and we wish
you good luck in finding a place for it elsewhere. In addition, we invite
you to submit any irreal stories you may write in the future.


[Incidently, said rejected piece was 'accepted' elsewhere, though nothing materialized]


Dear ****:

Thank you for your submission to ***.

Unfortunately, we will not be using this piece. Please keep in mind that more
often than not, submissions decisions come down to what we feel will fit in with
the particular issue and say little about the quality of the work received.

We hope that you will consider **** for future submissions, and we thank
you for your interest in our magazine. We wish you vast success in your writing

Mr. Rejection


See? What fun! I implore you all to post your rejection letters, took, and of course successful ventures. I wish I could find some of the others - a few of the are treasures, let me assure you.

Anywho, have a good one, y'all, and thanks for enduring this psychobabble.

terrence B urnip

"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen... there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change."

From his Last Will & Testament, Marquis de Sade

Related Items


The following comments are for "Plugs and Rejection Letters"
by strangedaze

Hilarious! Congrats on the acceptances -- but even more congrats on the delightful rejection letters. Tack 'em on the wall!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: April 21, 2005 )

Mike and rejections...
You know what I think I'm going to do? Put in a 'call for submissions' announcement and beg people to post their rejections. It would be fun for the whole family!


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: April 21, 2005 )

You talentless git!!! Hehehehehehe, JOKE!!

I would have to respond to some of those with smart ass comments, honestly talk about not giving any support whatsoever!!

Thank you for sharing these.


( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: April 21, 2005 )

Interestingly enough, my older brother's name is also Alex. His middle name is Justice, even though he seems to possess a skewed sense of morality. At any rate, I was hoping people would get a laugh. Now tell me, my body - have you decided to stick around (here, at WF, at perVerse hee hee)?

Horse tranquilizers and fluffy puffs,


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: April 21, 2005 )

Andy, hehe
Well, with regards to body, you have yet to capture the right angle for me *wink* hehe.

I'm sticking round here but nowhere else. I'm just gonna concentrate on the writing and the reading.

Thank you for asking!! A xxxxx

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: April 21, 2005 )

Body. Wow. Holy typo! Anyway, at least you'll be around *somewhere* that the rest of us weirdos frequent.


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: April 21, 2005 )

Typo my ass, well not mine...heh

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: April 21, 2005 )

Drooo's Mindless Talent
"Drama intrudes in this piece, and it's because of unconscious word choice."

You are so talented, Drooo, that you are writing frickin' UNconsciously! They are frightened by your HUGE..... tracts of land...


( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: April 21, 2005 )

Rejection and acceptance
This was great. Congratulations on your successes.
As to rejection letters... don't ya love em? I am artist also, and can't tell you how high my stack reaches... I got a "No" from Mr. Rogers. You have to admit, that's sad.

and then someone gets it, and that pays the bills and feels good.

-sending a kid to college so reject away-

you entertain me-

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: April 21, 2005 )

You got feedback (!)
I'm too slack to be able to pluralize either rejection or acceptance letter when preceded by the pronoun "my", still I'm jealous because my one rejection letter (thus far) contained no feedback, whatsoever. In essence, it read, thanks for sharing, we can't use this, please keep reading. Lucky T. Urnip.

I really like your idea of setting up a forum for rejection letters -- let me know if you do.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: April 25, 2005 )

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