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Fallen, underneath the iron lamppost..
In memoriam I blink at your ghost.
Unaware of our flight,long we did coast..
She was a foreign dark symbol at most.
Bitter righteousness is your spinning boast.
Parrot head plume in white, rise to a toast.
To your false theories I'll never play host.
Be nimble, your revelry waits to roast...



Comments

The following comments are for "Write Off: Dark Symbol"
by Vamp Eyes


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Images
Another probable lack of vision on my part, but I just don't get it. The imagery is some of the best I've seen, but I just don't understand what you're trying to get across. I do like the poem though, good work.

( Posted by: Apathy's tears [Member] On: July 1, 2002 )

Parrot Heads and the like
I must say that rogan' got the feel of this piece straight from sleep deprived mental faculties. I do like te way it sounds on my mental radio, but I'm left wondering what it's really about.. Maybe I'm just daft, it wouldn't be the first time.. But despite that a good read.

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: July 1, 2002 )

My rating
As my comments on the work are already posted I'll just add my rating to the mix.

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: July 2, 2002 )

hmmm..
Kinda feels like Dr. Suess on Acid.....but quite entertaining.

( Posted by: kross [Member] On: July 2, 2002 )

huh?
Well, I'm not the most literally minded person in the world, but I have to say I really don't get it. Each line is awesomw in itself, and some even work very well together. The only element of frustration I find is trying to interpret the piece.

( Posted by: Khazra3829 [Member] On: July 4, 2002 )

re: Dark Symbol

I thought this could be longer. I did like it, but I think it was a little disjointed in an effort to maintain the rhyme. I did like it though and I think it had some strong lines but just didn't mesh as well as it could have. I also tend to like longer poems.

( Posted by: Chrispian [Admin] On: July 7, 2002 )

Critics opinion
this piece lacks the understandability and plain english for anyone to understand anything you said in that poem. You had a few good lines but then it just went down the drain. i am not trying to be harsh just giving you the consensus view. Better luck next time and dont be afraid to critisize me or my work as you see fit. By the way, i am the same person as RedneckG86 just going under a different name.

( Posted by: Laura Croft [Member] On: July 26, 2002 )





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