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Broken chrysalis

Tangled wet and velvet folds

Life takes flight again


------
California
Uber Alles


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The following comments are for "Haiku II"
by skulduggery

More Skills From Skul
SkulD: Nicely done...You are batting 1.000.

B

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 18, 2005 )

Thank You Bobby7L
i am glad you enjoyed this haiku. i'm looking forward to receiving further comment and critique. i am writing now after having been inspired by writers on this site. i have more ideas surfacing, and i hope to post something soon.

( Posted by: skulduggery [Member] On: April 19, 2005 )

Skul: "Wetted"
Skul: You have a fine gentleman commenting above.(Jorge)...His appearing here is worthy of note.

JL: I sure could go for a succulant culinary creation, to accompany my snifter.

Longing for South FLA breezes,
Bobby

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 19, 2005 )

Too many "snifters"..?
Perhaps. I can usually spell that word. Jorge, I'm sure you know what I meant...

B

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 19, 2005 )

Thank You Jorge
i am revising this haiku per your suggestion. i like it better that way as well. i am also considering removing "tangled", as the butterfly is not truly tangles as it is wrapped or folded. this may force a re-write. thank you again:

broken chrysalis

tangled wet velvet folds

life takes flight again

( Posted by: skulduggery [Member] On: April 19, 2005 )

Read Haiku/Rocket Fuel
Skul: Sorry for saucerjacking...

Jorge: Remy VSOP...I can almost smell salty air and hear gulls...

B

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 19, 2005 )

Bobby7L and Jorge
please feel free to converse at will. inspiration comes in many forms... from many sources.

bobby: where i come from - far from Mars - we call them 'ships'.

( Posted by: skulduggery [Member] On: April 19, 2005 )

Haiku Mutiny
Skul: Indeed they do. Noted..

Jorge I will seek. Thanks.

B7L

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 19, 2005 )

skuls flight...
don't really have suggestions, just, this is
visual and good, I like...
~Robin~

( Posted by: Robinbird [Member] On: April 20, 2005 )

Dead Kennedy's
Good write, I'm just curious did you like The Dead Boys, Johnny Thunders and Teenage Jesus and The Jerks?

macbeth

( Posted by: macbeth [Member] On: April 20, 2005 )

Many Thanks
robin: thank you for your comment. by your avatar, i see you may have a connection to this one.

macbeth: thank you. i am not familiar with the artists you mentioned. i am only lightly exposed to this scene.

tap5000: thank you for your unbiased critiques. it is a pleasure to receive encouragement in any form, and especially from the same critic. i appreciate your read. i would like to read the story of which you speak. i have submitted another haiku for publishing which i feel needs more work. i hope to have your opinion.

( Posted by: skulduggery [Member] On: April 20, 2005 )





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