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Jousting


The knight leans forward
in tense anticipation,
adjusting his battered helmet,
gripping his slender lance,
as he looks across the field
at another silver figure,
mounted on an eager steed.
The trumpet blares
and both begin to ride,
digging heels into muscled flanks.
Lances outstretched,
they near each other,
and brace themselves
for a teeth-jarring blow.
One lance deflected,
another striking true,
and a knight in shining armor
topples of his heaving horse,
to land, limp and unmoving
upon the dusty ground.



Comments

The following comments are for "Jousting"
by Dahlia

Re: inna joust
I agree that this poem could use some more emotion. Actually, a lot more. I can already think of things to add to it already...I think a rewrite is in short order.
I appreciate the comment- thank you for making me take another look at my poem!

( Posted by: Dahlia [Member] On: July 2, 2002 )

I quite liked it
I thought that the lack of attention to the crowd and surroundings made it seem more like the insular experience the knight in his visored helm would have. I personaly don't think it needs a carnival atmosphere and might even suffer from it - but maybe that's just me.

( Posted by: enforced bliss [Member] On: July 12, 2002 )





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