The following comments are for "Haiku" by skulduggery
Skul's got skills...
You were true to your words. This is pretty darn good. I'm no "ku" expert, but I enjoyed this read.
Hope to see more,
Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 15, 2005
Thank You Bobby7L
i wanted to post one with alliteration as an invitation to further conversation. i am unsure of it's use here, as i see it as quite a bit in a small space. i invite others' comments to this specifically for my benefit, as well as any other comments. i appreciate your interest. i hope to be able to become content with this piece.
demeter and dareva: thank you very much for your opinions. i appreciate the compliments. i will post more. i do not want to flood the gates.
penelope: i thank you. i greatly appreciate the opinion. i was worried about congestion.
tap5000: thank you very much for your opinion. i hope to one day write haiku as beautifully as i can. it is deserving of practice!
i had pictured an oak leaf in the shade of tanned saddle leather. it's lobededges curved widely toward the center. the bottom shows spots that look exactly like some fresh raspberry pulp had found it's way there to dry, when in reality it birthed one who took to flight. i chose 'lilting' to describe the dappled slow motion home movie descent of the leaf, which was shown annually. i appreciate your suggestion, and i will consider it.
see you dug something out of that skull, and it's
not bad, actually it's good...Robin
Posted by: Robinbird [Member] On: April 17, 2005
jorge: thank you. i appreciate the feedback with emphasis on alliteration. i was uncertain of it's ability to work here. i am working on a re-write. i, too, am a fan of the dead kennedys, and particularly biafra's sarcastic humour.
robinbird: thank you for your comment. i'm pleased to know you enjoyed my haiku.