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Keep me in bondage,
And I will serve you
Without complaint.
Give me instructions,
and I will follow.
I desire nothing
But to be yours,
And serve you,
And provide for your
All I ask is direction.
I will survive your
Torture for eternity,
Isolated from your affection,
Without question
If you tell me why
You have this need
To hurt me,
What my pain
Supplies you,
What my sacrifice
Will cure.
Pain without knowledge
Of cause is maddening,
Is a torment I cannot
Tell me why my heart is breaking,
Why my blood is pooling
In the dusty hollow of your eyes,
Why my will is stretched to yielding.
What purpose does the slow suicide
Of my soul serve you?
I am Woman, Goddess, Muse.
I am tool.

She falls softly down from towering pedastools...

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The following comments are for "I Am Tool"
by shefallssoftly

This words. The ending sealed the deal for me. The beginning and middle are beautiful, but without that strong ending to deliver the final nail on the coffin, if you will, it would not be the same spectacular piece.


( Posted by: the Co.konspirator [Member] On: April 16, 2005 )

Tap, William
The meaning behind "I am tool" is rather abstract. It is mostly a play off of the line above. "I am Woman" implies that I have a greater sense of that being. I am not a woman, an imitation of the greater ideal of Woman, I am Woman. To say "I am a tool" is to make a few things happen subconciously. First, you lose the platonic perfectability of the single existence. "a tool" could be any sort of literal object. However, I wasn't trying to depict the speaker as a hammer. I was attempting to depict the speaker as the platonic tool. You do not explain to a hammer why you need to build a house, just as the "you" of the poem doesn't explain why he hurts her. Second, "a tool" implies that it's really only a part of who you are. I can say that I am a woman, a mother, an actor etc etc etc... However, if I am Casey, that is all I am, all aspects of myself are subsets of Casey-hood. If I am tool, all aspects of me derive from that.
Complex, but yah.
Thanks for reading, Tap. I love your comments.

Oddly enough, I added the ending as an afterthought, and then fell in love with it. I'm not sure if without the final lines the poem would even be worth it. I'm glad you like it, I value your opinion highly.

Thank you both.

( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: April 16, 2005 )

I am Tool...
I am not sure about this as a title and as a line, it seems inarticulate and obscure. The only reason I am saying this is because of the lack of concrete imagery in this piece, it didn't really evoke anything in me. I felt I was simply reading the writers emotions. I think it would make more sense if you read my write up on abstractions in poetry.

I liked the message of this piece and the emotional content, but I feel it could more effectively passed onto the reader.

I hope you understand and do not mind me giving my opinion.

Best wishes


( Posted by: Londongrey [Member] On: April 16, 2005 )

I appreciate your comment, and in general I agree with what you say. I'm not sure if it worked, but this piece was not supposed to be normal poetry, it was meant to be stream of conciousness. We do not think in metaphors, so I figured them inappropriate to the piece. It may seem a bit off, a bit hard to read and understand, but that is the purpose. It is a direct message to someone, as played out before it is said.

( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: April 16, 2005 )

I do understand
I have written many stream pieces, for some reason though I did not pick this up on this piece.

Oh well, I think after the day I have had today a pig could fly by and I would miss it.

Thank you for being positive on the feedback, it is always nice when you can talk to someone about the sinful, never say it, 'technical side' of poetry, hehe.

Best wishes

Alex :-P

( Posted by: Londongrey [Member] On: April 16, 2005 )

Alex made some interesting comments about the title and about abstractions - astute observations on his part.

The short, choppy structure really appealed to me, though. And there were a few stanzas that really gelled, like affection, direction, and question. Sharp work, Mz Softly.

My women's studies class would absolutely love this. Is that a satiric edge I detect?


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: April 16, 2005 )

Alex, Andrew
I actually love getting feedback on how to improve my work. So no worries there.
If you didn't pick up on the stream-y nature of the piece, it's likely because I didn't do it effectively. This piece is one that will have to be rewritten more than once, I think. I just try to keep in mind that I am still young and expirementing.

I'm actually majoring in women's studies.
Although this might be read as completely ironic, I don't think anything should ever be read only one way. There are levels of honesty to this piece, and levels of satire. It's the combination that makes it honest, I think.


( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: April 17, 2005 )

Tool time
Are you sure your seventeen? You hit so strong with your thoughts. If you were my kid I might be "creeped out"- your wisdom and your words are extraodinary! Casey, you inspire me!

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: April 18, 2005 )

Elizabeth, thank you so much for all my compliments. I've had so many questions about my age that I'm tempted to scan my license and post it on here, however I prefer not to have my identity stolen so I refuse.
I think my parents are creeped out by me, actually. Haha..

( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: April 18, 2005 )

I agree, actually. I don't think this is one of my stronger pieces, but that's why I post here, to get direction. I'll probably rewrite a new draft, although this subject is so played out in my writing that I don't really need to. I'm not entirely sure. Thanks for the advice.

( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: April 19, 2005 )

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