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10lesbianwriter

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I can remember…
This past December…
You with a feather…
In your hand.

I can remember…
This past November…
You with such longing…
In your eyes.

I can remember…
This past September…
We were together…
Hold on.

I can’t remember…
We were together…
Why you left me…oh…
No.

I can remember…
We were together…
It was September…
In your eyes, love…


------
T.A.O


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The following comments are for "i cant remember"
by ftmthasme

can or cant
well....I dont understand...evrerythin was going fine till this stanza ..I have a problem here:

I can’t remember…
We were together…
Why you left me…oh…
No.

why did change ur tone at the middle..I think you should change cant to can...just a suggestion

other than that ur poem was sentimental and soft


all th best

( Posted by: fairgrace [Member] On: April 15, 2005 )





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