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Author's Note:
Thanks, William, for all the help on this-- It's much better now.


To have known you is my calamity–
The calamity of your attention
That, I admit, saved me
From myself.
The crisis of wondering
If I could make you want me,
Then leave you waiting
In perpetual suspension
For my inevitable rejection–
Flaunting absent supremacy,
Knowing that I was fighting,
Desperately, for my defeat.
Somehow, I knew it was coming.

To have known you is my calamity–
The trial of forgetting.
The crisis of avenging.
The eternal questions raging,
A tide pulling
Down, into the deepest depths
Of consciousness–
Leaving me to drown,
Uncertain.
All this thought is only internalizing
My sin; my assent
In the face of your desperately clenching
Shadow of a doubt.

To have known you is my calamity–
The trauma of touch
That, even now, pains me
To relive.
The way you sent me, sleeping,
Painted with good intentions,
And introduced me
To my own personal hell
Of questions I could not answer
Because I had no memory
Of the blood-spattered name
You gave me--
Whore.

------
She falls softly down from towering pedastools...


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Comments

The following comments are for "My Calamity draft 2"
by shefallssoftly

Bob
You flatter far too much, but I'm glad you like it. Such disturbing imagery to pair with the an angel. Hmm...
Casey

( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: April 12, 2005 )

Casey's reminders to forget
Casey: A captivating read. What a finish. Nicely done...

Don't think you need to be told..to keep writing...

Bobby

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 12, 2005 )

Casey - Raw
Raw and real. I loved it.

Kudos.

Felica

( Posted by: feliciastone [Member] On: April 13, 2005 )

Divine?
You know, they're pretty close, angel. I didn't do anything on this piece but act as a sounding board. Take credit where credit is due. You did a fantastic job on this piece, and I, for one, am proud of you for it. Besides--you'd look great with wings, yourself ;)

Frieden und Liebe,
William

( Posted by: the Co.konspirator [Member] On: April 13, 2005 )

Bobby, Felicia, William, Tap
Thanks, everyone, for reading this.

Bobby-
Sometimes one needs encouragement; this webpage has been a great motivator for my writing. Being told every now and again that my words are not a waste of cyberspace keeps me working, and trying harder. I'm happy you like this draft, I think it's definitely one of my favorites.

Felicia-
Thanks for dropping by! I'm glad you liked the rawness of it. I was going to write this in a long extended metaphor, but I felt like I would be cheapening the subject. It has to be addressed head on, I think.

William-
You, like the rest, are being far too sweet. You did very much for me on this piece, if not just in telling me what you thought felt awkward. Beyond that, you pushed me into some diction choices that I now adore. You too, my dear, should take credit. I don't think I would look as good with wings as you would-- do remember the username.

Tap-
Wow! I'm glad you had such a powerful response to my work, supposing it wasn't one of utter revulsion (haha). May I ask what made you react so strongly? I tried not to make the imagery too brutal (if you want that, see "It is Your Rage I Wear") as not to offend.

Sorry I let this thread go so much before responding!

-Casey

( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: April 14, 2005 )

Casey you are Brilliant
I've not read anything of yours I would change, that I do not like...girl you have it going on. I KNOW one day I can say I knew this angel when...

Keep posting and astounding us Casey. I love your brilliant mind young lady.

with much respect and admiration
a true fan,
Dar ;)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: April 14, 2005 )

Tap, Dareva
Tap-
I'm afraid if everyone did what I did, the same problems would just exist. Poetry is not something that can prevent violence and hatred, it is simply a cure for those struck by them. I don't think that writing can keep me physically safe, only mentally.

Dareva-
Thanks so much for your comment! I doubt the perfection of my work, but I'm glad you enjoyed it a lot. You make me smile every time you comment.

Thanks, you two.
-Casey

( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: April 15, 2005 )





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