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10Dareva
10emaks
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Habib was an Islam man
from a little country
over in Islam land.

Now, he was a fanatic
and not too smart,
made his living behind
the counter of a mini-mart.

Frugal with his money
and never forgetting
the Old Country way.

He would order-up services
and try to bargain when
it came time to pay.

And he hated America
because it wanted his
country’s oil wells,
but he didn’t mind living
here with the Infidels.

He decided to become a
terrorist because it was
the hip thing to do.

So he bought an AK-47
and a box cutter or two.
Well, he couldn’t fly an airplane
or make a bomb

but he reasoned he could
drive a cement truck into
a synagogue.

Now Habib’s in jail and he’s
singing the blues;
the synagogue was empty,
there were no dead Jews.


------
Charmr


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Comments

The following comments are for "The Terrorist, Habib"
by Charmr

smirks and quirks
The acme of the pop culture chic, it is a brave summary of an Ameircan psyche that despite being despised throughout the world, is still Rockwellian and is admirably bottom-line truth.

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: April 8, 2005 )

concrete evidence
frightfully real- thanks

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: April 8, 2005 )

Now here is a true word
and I agree with Teflon, but I kind of hold off on the "brave"....you are a realist...and no holding back, beating around the bush. Say it as you see it, and I admire that in you. Being brave? Nah, if they don't like what you have to say, fuck'em.

Goodly done.....and I am tired, had to comment on yours before I turn into a bumpkin....

Dar

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: April 8, 2005 )

Charmr's Habib
Sad statement of truth- it's hip to hate.
You always have a way of getting to brass tacks. Good job!

Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: April 9, 2005 )

Mohammed You are also stereotypical
WHY do you not think this poem should flow? Where is it written that poetry is supposed to flow softly, gently.....etc? Poetry is free speaking, to however the Individual Poet has written it...If Romay wrote it using less HARD letters it would flow like silk and lace....
However speaking of this man as my friend, on his defence, I KNOW he is not the stereotypical person you are saying of his poem here. He is very much an individual.....This poem was written of ONE person, NOT A WHOLE society.....right? SO, take it to hurt you? well you are taking this much too personal, just as you did that poem much too personal of Lilia.....lighten up some and remember we are here to join, not to attack one another as individuals in Lit.....

Really Lighten up some

Romay, sorry I HAD to stand in here make it my business, because as a poet in Canada, I KNOW that poetry is free.......it can flow, it can snag, whatever you wish it to...
The structure, sure could use a bit of tightening up, but I still give you a 9 at least....for structure as well as your subject choice...

Write on!!!

Darlene

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: April 9, 2005 )

Hm, Sorry Charmr
Can I blame my stupidity on medication from my recent surgery?
I mispelled Tap's real name...Sorry Tap, not meant in disrespect.
AND to you Romay, my apologies. I stepped in here, thinking this is not a stereotypical poem, but to clear myself:

I believe it is a good poem, that it doesn't seem to be stereo typical to me, because I only see that it is written of one person....but I can see what others MAY see as innuendoes, after re-reading this .....trying to with a clearer frame of mind. So my apologies there to anyone who thought me overly critical.
Now as far as free verse, and smoothness: In my own opinion, this is structurally fine. I wish I could put examples of other poems that I have read on this very site, that were quite similar to this poem; readers have left good comments, rated them 9, and 10s..
Anyways, knowing Romay as I do, nothing would surprise me of his writing and I do stand by his ideas of choices to write....he speaks as he wants, , ,

Off to tend to my own little world here at home.

PEACE
Dar

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: April 9, 2005 )

Tap and 'terror-genics'
I commented earlier, but want to stand up for lit friends. I find it sad that we poets, artists, last of conformers, are obliged to bate and purr.
Tap- please read "Oshama" by me.
As far as I have surmised to date, we all love our children, we all love our parents, and some of us love our spouses. Some are serial killers, but only because they make the news, do we know thier names. They have garnered there infamy.
Knowledge comes to some by what may look like bias to another. Don't judge so harshly.
blessings-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: April 10, 2005 )

Excuse Me...
The writer put his work here to SHARE. The feedback is welcome, but the idea is also to share and in my opinion, it flows like a river. The structure is concrete...and this IS America where we have the right to freedom of speech. And as far as that bush or tree or cowboy or whatever you want to call it that's in the White House...we ALL suffer his dirty deeds and moronic mind whether we drive SUV's or a 79 Ford. This poem nor any other is SUPPOSED to flow...by whose standard's???? I suppose political cartoons are to flow as well? I think this is a humourous and well written piece and is based on shocking reality. Reality written well, can be humourous, and needed, because it allows us to laugh at serious undertakings of others as well as ourselves. I gave you a well-earned 10 Romay...sorry the scale isn't calibrated higher because this one is off the meter. Good job. Write on...

Always,
Char

( Posted by: Char [Member] On: April 10, 2005 )

I am back
To say I have read this over again, clear frame of mind, and I still stick to my words AND as I said I would give you a 9 at least, but it does deserve a higher rating.


"still Rockwellian and is admirably bottom-line truth."
"This poem tells the story of one of them, and does a good job of it"

AND Romay, I tried to look to find anything that could be tightened up as I said above, but I find it tight enough and very brilliantly done.


"The precise use of capitalization is definately an undefined rule in poetry, much like the requirement of rhyme or formal meter, and is generally left to the preferrence of the writer."

So well said and I quote one of our well rounded writers here at Lit.

Great Job Romay,
Darlene

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: April 10, 2005 )

illogical
first i wanted to know ho does one decide to become a terrorist, just like that. second, if this muslim is a terrorist and hates america, how come he sings the blues?
in my suggestion this is not a poem, these are only rhyming words which don't make any sense.

ps. i'm an atheist, by the way

( Posted by: therethere [Member] On: April 10, 2005 )





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