Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

I think I drank, drank too much its going to my head

My vision blurs and I jump the gun I can’t stop it now

I don’t know how it got this far but I wish it would slow

My head is swimming and my money gone; where did it all go?

I find my self standing in a tux, with black and white around

It is too late I said my vows, and as it clears I can see, it is a wedding and its target was me

I drank to much and said to little, it seems like my funeral

Now in my new found happiness is more like my personal hell

I drank, I drank to much



Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "The Drink..."
by poetfreak

Thanks
Yes I did make some errors and I left them to show my drunken state. And I am glad that you interpreted the poem right, some times people get the wrong ideas about some of my poems. Thanks for the input.

PoetFreak

( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: April 6, 2005 )

Drunken Wedding
This was sad when I read it, I didn't expect it to take me there, but it did. Whether by intent or by mistake to drink too much and miss one's own wedding seems pretty rough. This has some emotional force therefore.

You probably can guess what I'd say about the spelling errors. You've got 'any' instead of 'and' in L4. I understand the idea of leaving your ideas raw in respect of the original state in which they're written, but I'm guessing you have that raw manuscript somewhere that you can refer to. As a finished poem, I think it would be more successful to give the impression of the drunken state without the drunken misspellings.

This has got some some game. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: April 6, 2005 )

Philo
As usual thanks for the help. I will try to work on this more i feel it has potential. Thaks again.

PoetFreak

( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: April 6, 2005 )

By the power vested in me by the Las Vegas Gambling Commission
I don't know if it's intended but I've get a Vegas wedding stuck in my head, man gets drunk, man buys lady a drink, man weds lady, lady takes over man's life. The poem comes as a brief snapshot after the man has just said his vows and sobered up enough to know what he has just done.

Cool.

Emlyn

( Posted by: Emlyn [Member] On: April 9, 2005 )

Emlyn
I wrote this in study hall in my high school. And for some reason I was thinking about a Vegas wedding so that’s what I wrote this poem about. I also wonder how many poor people go through that. Thanks for the input.

PoetFreak

( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: April 13, 2005 )

Poetfreak - Emlyn
How funny (oops and sad) is that? The Vegas wedding. But then, I understand there are people out there who got married in Vegas and actually did know what they were doing (I should hope).

Thanks for the read, poetfreak.

Felicia

( Posted by: FeliciaStone [Member] On: April 13, 2005 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: