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The early morning sun filtered through the leaves and touched Harry's eyelids, waking him up. He realized that he was in the jungle surrounded by many vicious animals, small people and furry things. He slowly opened his eyes to check and see if his dog was on guard. He was. Harry's horrible hairy hound was prowling the edge of the clearing, his horrible hair standing up all over his body, his long fangs dripping saliva, his horrible red eyes never leaving the jungle. Harry lay back and relaxed, Killer was on the job, he would be safe.

Just then a horrible screeching noise rang out. It seemed to be calling his name. "Harry!" it called, "Come here, I want you in my cooking pot, NOW."

Harry tried to ignore the voice. He sank back under the covering of leaves that he had use as a bed. It was no use, the screeching would not stop. Killer was growling and looking for the origin of the voice to no avail. Realizing that the owner of the voice would not leave him alone, he threw off the leaves, brushed himself down and, keeping low, he headed off into the jungle.


The early morning sunlight filtered through the curtains and touched the eyelids of the sleeping boy. He stirred. He looked around. His pup, Fluffy, was scampering around the room attacking Harry's socks and anything else he could find to chew. He was a small, brown and white puppy with long ears that almost dragged on the floor. Harry had called him "Killer” but his mother had called him "Fluffy".

"Fluffy" Harry snorted in disgust, what sort of name was that for a dog? Especially a fighting dog like this one. As you can see, Harry liked to use his imagination.

The lad settled back into the warm comfort of his bed. Just then he heard his mother call, "Harry, come on down for breakfast, time to get moving and I mean NOW"

Harry knew that it was no use trying to ignore that voice; she would persist until he came. With a sigh he threw off the blankets and, putting on his dressing gown, he moved to the door.



Harry finished his breakfast of berries and small animals and, calling Killer to his side, he ventured out to see what adventures awaited him this day. Suddenly Killer caught the scent of something in the bushes, a low growl escaped his throat, it grew to a steady rumble. Harry fell to the ground and crawled across the open area to the bushes. Straightening up but keeping low, he entered the forbidding jungle, Killer going ahead the clear the path.

Then Harry saw what had upset his horrible hairy hound, a large jungle cat was sitting on a branch just above the trail, waiting to pounce on Harry as he walked below. Harry's horrible hairy hound sprung into instant action.
He leapt forward at the cat, the cat reared back and showed his huge claws, it hissed and snarled revealing long fangs that curved out over his jaw and reached almost back to it's chest.

They were long, they were sharp, they were deadly. One slash from either the claws or the fangs would rip them apart. Harry's horrible hair hound did not hesitate, he sprang forward growing horribly barking and lunging, trying to reach the cat, but it was just out of reach. The sight was too much, even for the vicious cat, it fled in terror from Harry's horrible hairy hound.


Harry went out into the yard after breakfast. Fluffy was running all over the place, chewing leaves, small twigs and anything else he could find. Harry tried his never-ending training session. "Sit." He called, but Fluffy chose to ignore him. "Heel" Harry commanded. Fluffy ran around and wiggled every part of himself in an effort to understand what his master was trying to tell him. "Wiggle." Said Harry. Fluffy promptly sat. Harry went to him and gave him a pat, "I think you are learning," he said, "you remembered a command from three times ago."

Just then the kitten from next door jumped up onto the fence. Fluffy went into a wild flurry of activity, he jumped, he barked, he wiggled, he bounced, all at the same time. The cat began licking it's paw and paid no attention to Fluffy whatsoever. Harry called out, "Sic him Killer." Fluffy jumped up at the fence trying to investigate this strange creature. As he got too close the kitten hissed and snarled and struck out with it's paw, catching Fluffy across the face. Fluffy yelped and ran behind Harry for protection.

"Good dog," said Harry, "You came over here to protect me didn't you?" Fluffy licked Harry's foot and Harry gave a big sigh and the cat went home.



It was quiet as Harry and his horrible hairy hound walked along one of the many paths that criss-crossed the jungle.

Once again Harry's horrible hairy hound stopped still. Harry knew from past experience that this was a sure sign of danger ahead so he stopped also. Faintly he could hear voices behind the trees. Creeping forward he peered out between the bushes and there they were. The women. Harry called them "The Strange Ones”. Huge Amazons armed to the teeth with deadly weapons, speaking in their strange language. Harry shuddered. He shrunk back trying to keep Killer quiet as he did so, with a bit of luck they might not see him.

Too late! He had been spotted. He was trapped. He ordered killer to attack, he tore into them, throwing amazons left and right, Harry was fighting for his life also. It seemed to take hours but, finally, Harry and his horrible hairy hound were conquered by the tribe of women and Harry was tied to a stake while the women decided what they would do with him. Killer slunk off into the jungle.


Harry and fluffy were playing as they skipped along the foot path. Harry was trying to teach Fluffy to fetch. He would throw a stick and tell Fluffy to "fetch". Fluffy pretended not to understand. at least, that is what Harry told himself.
"He's just to smart to chase a dumb stick." Harry told himself.
Harry and Fluffy rounded a corner and there they were, girls. Armed with their dolls and prams and girlie talk which boys hate.
Harry stopped and tried to back around the corner before they spotted him. He would have made it to if Fluffy hadn't betrayed him, he went racing over to Cathy, the extra cute one, and began jumping all over her. Cathy, the extra cute one, laughed and patted Fluffy and spoke to him nicely. She saw Harry and called out to him. "Harry. Harry, come here."
"No," replied Harry, "I don't want to talk to dumb girls."
Cathy, the extra cute one, smiled her extra cute smile at him. "Come on Harry, we need a man's opinion.
Reluctantly Harry approached them.
"Do you think that girls can be policemen?" Cathy, the extra cute one, asked him.
"Don't be silly," Harry replied, "if they were women they couldn't police - men could they? "Dumb Girls" he muttered to himself.
"Oh Harry," Cathy, the extra cute one, exclaimed, "you are so smart."
To be honest Harry was secretly flattered that they thought he was smart enough to answer their questions. He knew that he was of course, after all, any boy could outsmart a dumb girl. He decided that he would leave now and no-one was going to stop him.
"Gotta go." he muttered.
"Oh don't go," Cried Cathy, the extra cute one, "stay a bit longer."
"All right," Harry growled, "but only because Killer, me dog, wants to."
"Oh Harry, you are so kind."



Harry decided that the situation was desperate. The Amazons were conducting their deadly ritual that would lead to them torturing Harry with the death of a thousand tongues. Sitting around their camp-fire, they were drinking a strange mixture of juices that made them do terrible things. It was called "Tea". Fortunately it took them a long time to go through this ritual so Harry had time to think of something.

Just then Harry felt a hot breath on his wrists, he knew it was his horrible hairy hound who had snuck out of the jungle to rescue him. With one snap Killer bit the ropes off Harry's wrists and, very carefully, they crept back to the jungle. The women were so engrossed that they didn't notice them leaving. They were safe once more.


Harry and Fluffy walked with the girls for a while. The girls had invited Harry and Fluffy to come to the cute girl's home for as tea party. As they walked along Harry began to slow down. He dropped further and further behind without them noticing. When they came to a side street Harry saw his opportunity and, picking up Fluffy, he ran down it. He decided that is was time to go home.



Night was settling upon the jungle. The day animals were going to sleep and the night animals were getting up. Harry knew why it was that there were animals that were out during the day, and others out during the night. It was because there was not enough beds in the jungle and they had to take it in turns to sleep.

Harry knew that he was in just as much danger at night as he was during the day, so he selected a branch to sleep on. He knew that he would be quite safe on the ground because his horrible hairy hound would guard him but, Killer needed his sleep too, so Harry slept on a branch so that Killer could get some sleep. Looking down to make sure his horrible hairy hound was resting, Harry drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


Harry threw himself onto his bed and snuggled down under the covers. He thought about the day. A good day, he decided. Lots of adventure, but he was very tired now. Looking over he saw that fluffy was fast asleep curled up to one of his slippers so, with a contented smile Harry went to sleep.



The following comments are for "Harry's Horrible Hairy Hound"
by othunder

What really happened
Love the story othunder, especially the 'What Really Happened. I think you should make that the title. The way you charactorize Harrys' over active imagination is good as well.

( Posted by: Emlyn [Member] On: April 5, 2005 )

Harry's - what age group?
Who's your target audience?


( Posted by: feliciastone [Member] On: April 5, 2005 )

keep title
I enjoyed this othunder. I have to disagree with Emlym though on the title. Although that would make a good title "What really happened" I think the present one would be more appealing to children. It certainly drew me in to have a look and I'm just a big kid.

I noticed the spacing too between sections. I had the same problem with one of my stories where I wanted a divider between sections. Seems if you seperate the asterisk by tabs it does what it did here spacing them out. You can use a bbcode
which will give a line divider. Check out the bbcodes when you are submitting to find out more about that.


( Posted by: Smithy [Member] On: April 5, 2005 )

Harry. Thanks
First of all thank you all for your positive responses.
First Emlyn. I think I like the present title but I am always open to suggestions. I submitted this to an online magazine and the editor said that the "What happened now" was bulky and could I find a smoother way to make the trandition. I don't think so.
Felicia. I never gave a thought to age group. It is a story that just came out. I asked my wife who works in child care and she suggested that it should be between 5-8 but, you got me thinking and I havre asked myself, "Is it really a child's story?" Interesting.
Hi Smithy. Thank you for your comments.I am new to this so, excuse my ignorance, but what is a "bbcode?"

( Posted by: othunder [Member] On: April 5, 2005 )

Hi othunder. bbcodes are commands that allow you stylize your text (eg: italics, bold, underline, colors, size, font type, author notes, quotes, etc). When you have the submission page up you will see on the left "style guides" underlined in blue. Click on that and it will open a seperate page with an explanation of how to use them and lots of examples. I tried writing the code in for the divider in my previous comment but instead it actually worked and just showed the divider. Open square bracket hr close square bracket, gives you

The other thing I do is just put ---*--- or something without spaces or tabs in between when I want a seperator and to not use bbcodes. It doesn't spread them out so much them. Hope this helps.

( Posted by: Smithy [Member] On: April 6, 2005 )

othunder - agree with Smithy
I agree with Smighty - the children's market likes titles that jump out. I remember when "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" seemed a rediculously long, crazy title.

"What Really Happened" is too generic. It could apply to an endless number of stories with starkly different themes.

Here's what's good about this title:

1) It's personal - you use someone's proper name in the title.

2)"Horrible" in a children's title translates into "read me!"

3)"Hairy" is very descriptive and provokes a specific image.

4)"Hound" promises the reader that there will be an animal in the story - a dog - one of the most universally understood and experienced pets in the US.



( Posted by: feliciastone [Member] On: April 6, 2005 )

The Mighty Smithy
Sorry I spelled your name "Smighty" in my last post. Maybe subconsciously, I was writing "The Mighty Smithy" in my uniquely dyslexic, abbreviated way?



( Posted by: feliciastone [Member] On: April 6, 2005 )

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