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Average Rating
9.33

(3 votes)


RatingRated by
9Lingering
10MaxiiJ
9Robinbird

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You lied to your parents
about the padlock you broke,
and their money you stole to fund dealing dope.
You lied to your god about the sins you had done,
and the crucible you pawned to pay for a gun.
You lied to your best friends then got in a fight.
ripped off their bloody clothes that fit you just right.
You lied to your teacher about the anger you keep,
Put a bullet through her head when she started to weep.
You lied to the cops about her body they sought,
seventy-five on life was the penalty you got.
You lied to the guard about your plan to escape,
and to your female lawyer you murderously raped.
The last lie was made and took your last breath
your one little lie backfired in death.
my friend you see your lies shine through,
and because of your actions
I have lost respect for you.

------
Open and read the pages of my DarkerMind
where one's style of writing comes from deep within.
I don't plan to change the world; just trying to leave my mark.


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Comments

The following comments are for "One Little Lie"
by KingDon

: )
I really liked this piece. But, I felt a little robbed at the end.

( Posted by: Lingering [Member] On: March 31, 2005 )

Lies Hurt Everyone...
but none so much as the liar!

Though you shift rhythm and meter, it didn't detract from the overall verse, and to me the end would have been faulted if it had not culminated in your decision.

I gave you a 10 because I felt it represented a milestone in your humanities growth, and that should always be graded on a curve to end in a perfect 10.

( Posted by: MaxiiJ [Member] On: March 31, 2005 )





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