Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Kyle’s Hiding

I have a cat
I know where I put it
I put it in the drawer
And then I hided my
Giraffe
Elephant
And Tigers
In different places
The elephants were
Right next to the couch
I put the giraffes
In the cupboard
And the Tiger
In the drawer
And then I hided
My army men
Next to the T.V.
There’s only one more thing
To look for
It is a picture
I hided it under my bed

By Kyle Coombs
2-22-05



------
(A note from his family: Be kind and remember he is six. - We'll let you know when he is ready for critique. These are not edited for grammatical and other errors. They are dictated by the authro and recorded.)


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Kyle's Hiding"
by Theamazingkyle

Budding Poet
Kyle,

I'm so impressed that you are only six years old and already have a presence on a literary web site.

Listen to what people tell you and decide what things will help you write better.

I really liked this poem - I know it was your first.

The only thing I will say, is that "hided" is not a word. You might want to change that to "hid".

Keep up the good work!

Felicia

( Posted by: FeliciaStone [Member] On: March 30, 2005 )

Kyle Nice Job!!!
Very good job, this poem is great! I look forward to seeing more work from you. Thanks for posting!
Christian

( Posted by: ChristianAlbert [Member] On: March 30, 2005 )

welcome kyle
Welcome Kyle. Thanks for sharing your poem. I would have been proud if I could write like you at your age. I liked finding out all the good spots where you can hide your toys. I'll keep them in mind when I am hiding my own. "Hided" does seem right doesn't it, but that's how funny our language is. There are all these other words like "hid" that we use too. I'd leave this one just how it is so you can look back when you are older. Good work.
smithy

( Posted by: Smithy [Member] On: March 31, 2005 )

To everyone from Kyle
To everyone who typed to me:

Thank you that you read my poem. I was glad that you did. Will you read more of my poems? I have more, you know.

I was glad to read your notes to me and I liked it very much!

Smithy - I like that lizzard picture. I have geckos you know. They are really cool.

From

Kyle

( Posted by: theamazingkyle [Member] On: April 1, 2005 )

"Hided"
I think you should keep the word "hided". It describes the best way to hide something real good.

I used to have army men, too. As good as I hided them, my favorite ones would somehow disappear.

Your poem is really good. The way you list your special things and the interesting places you put them for safe keeping.

Make sure your cat doesn't get closed up in the drawer too long. I have a cat, too. He likes to sleep in the bathroom sink.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: April 2, 2005 )

Demeter from Kyle
Thank you Demeter. You are very nice.

This is Kyle.

( Posted by: Theamazingkyle [Member] On: April 2, 2005 )

Gomarsoap - Hided
To Gomar,

This is Kyle. Does your cat really sleep in the sink? Does it like to get its own drink of water?

I know that some of my army men disappear, too. Paula always buys me more. Sometimes I find some when I am digging in the sand. Maybe you should look there.

Thank you that you read my poem.

My cat didn't stay in the drawer long, but it's okay anyway. It's not a real cat. My other animals aren't real either. It's a good thing. My dad says it's a zoo here anyway because Paula keeps buying me animals and Dad doesn't really like my snake or lizzards, only my hampsters. But I have turtles and hermit crabs too.

We go to the pet store every Monday and every Friday. They like us there.

Thank you that you read my poem and typed me a message.

From Kyle

( Posted by: Theamazingkyle [Member] On: April 2, 2005 )

Gomar - I forgot
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you that I kept "hided" in my poem with the date I wrote it. Now, I am going to correct it. I forgot "hided" was wrong, Paula and Daddy keep telling me that when I say it. Paula and I read what people type here about our poems and then fix our poems so we can get better. But, Paula already has it the first way I wrote it in my poetry book we are making and in my scrapbook too.

From Kyle

( Posted by: theamazingkyle [Member] On: April 2, 2005 )

Tinalouise - my picture
To Tinalouise. This is Kyle. The picture I put under my bed is a picture of a tiger carrying her baby in her mouth. My kittens used to do that. It doesn't hurt them - do you know that? I love tigers! I want one but Paula said, "No way, Jose!" Dad said if I get one, he's going to get an apartment. But, he said that about the snake and he still lives here with us.

I think you can read more of my poems soon. Paula posted them when I was at my Mom's so that I might get some e-mails when I am here.

Thank you that you typed to me.

From Kyle

( Posted by: theamazingkyle [Member] On: April 2, 2005 )

way nice.
this is a way nice piece of poetry. seriously enjoyable. very kool, too.

sincerely,

john. john doe.

( Posted by: johnjohndoe [Member] On: April 2, 2005 )

JJdoe - Demeter - thanks
This is Kyle. Thank you for saying my poem is Kool!

Demeter,

Paula said you think that I am her grandson. I am actually her step-son. But that's okay that you thinked that.

From Kyle

( Posted by: theamazingkyle [Member] On: April 2, 2005 )

Kyle
Hi Kyle,

What a wonderful poem! I'm so glad that you're already writing poetry at six years old! That is a wonderful thing -- keep writing. When you're old like me, you'll be glad you did.

True that "hided" might not be a word, but you should keep it in here anyway. It works. It has a special charm of its own.

You should give your stepmom a big hug for encouraging you to write and helping you post your poems! That's a terrific thing for her to do -- you have a good stepmom. I have a son about your age -- maybe I should encourage him to post his work too, eh? What do you think? He writes stories, though, not poems.

Excellent work, my friend!

Cheers,

V9

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: April 2, 2005 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: