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I Passed This Way Once
(to my grandmother, who died yesterday without seeing me for 7 years, without hearing my forgiveness) *


And with tears of blood he cleansed the hand,
The hand that held the steel:
For only blood can wipe out blood,
And only tears can heal.
Oscar Wilde "The Ballad of Reading Gaol"



My candle burns madly,
rises as metaphor.
my years are like the wick’s tip,
mellows within the melting moments,
drops same time –
I passed this way, once.
lasting only as humility, an ever-shifting glance:

Yearning.

Come! read my pages, sift through their dusts;
my dreams turn to days,
vernal days of stories,
stories with reasons, and
reasons breathing through my vengeful sons
see the seasons as streams — O awakened Child —
first meets the radiance of a raging sea
I passed this way once
there to die, fire and night as one,
waiting calmly for God, without the sun

Undulations tamed,
within my lonesome body, as frail hope
becomes innocent child
after I passed this way once,

Pulsation has no name,
a shadow without a light,
yet this heartbeat is music,
and my readings bright in the wallowing dark
however, not even a kiss lits my silence
too soon, I passed this way once

life is eternity’s smudge.



__________
* May 1926 - March 2005 (at age 79)


------
Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary. -- Sir Cecil Beaton (1904-1980) English photographer


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Comments

The following comments are for "I Passed This Way Once"
by Idomis

Idomis - My Cup - powerful
Thanks for posting this piece - and my condolences on the loss of your grandmother.

I really liked:

"to my grandmother, who died yesterday without seeing me for 7 years, without hearing my forgiveness"

"life is eternity’s smudge."

Felicia

( Posted by: FeliciaStone [Member] On: March 22, 2005 )

The Power of Forgiveness
Idomis;
This is Powerful writing. I'm sorry about your grandmother, but I know she is proud of you and what you've become...

Only GOD sees the Intricacies of our hearts. We sometimes have that forgiveness guilt, but also, we have the healing of suffering. This really touched me Idomis, an excellent piece of work, and honest. I would have commented on this earlier, but this is the first time that I've come on the set in awhile. I'm working on my book and trying to get a grant for my Invention.

Blessings,
{{{Jeannie}}}

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: March 23, 2005 )

Wonderful Idomis,
Your writing is always a powerful thing full of beauty and awe. I enjoy reading you, but this one, is one of my favorites so far. It is raw, remarkably written.
I am sure She IS watching you now and KNOWS.

Well done Idomis, and I LOVE your new Avatar.

My best wishes to you,
Darlene

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: March 23, 2005 )

Appreciated
Felicia, Jeannie, Dareva, and Demeter: Thank you for your kind thoughts. This poem is sacred to me.

( Posted by: idomis [Member] On: March 28, 2005 )





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