Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

"It'll start," I say, leaning back in my seat. "It just needs to cool down a little more." Luke taps on the temperature gauge.
"It's been cooling down for the past forty-five minutes. It's not going to start."
I sigh. "Don't be so pessimistic. Let's do another water run." The two of us swing out the sides of the Jeep CJ, which now sits on the side of the trail, the engine ticking in the heat. The burnt-orange hood lies propped up against the windshield, exposing the monstrous Chevy small-block within. The two of us plod over to the stream and fill a pair of soda cans with water. We wander back to the Jeep and proceed to trickle the water over the radiator and fuel lines, watching the thin wisps of steam curl off the surfaces. The little puddles shrink and die in the heat, baked by the scalding metal.
"Should we wait another five minutes?" Luke asks.
I check my watch
"I don't think we have much choice."

Author: What are the Odds

Related Items


The following comments are for "The Jeep"
by jetman_jake

Small Jeep
I don't know if I would call these stories. They'd be better discribed as scenes since they are so short and they lack any real resolution.

Still, the dialogue reads true and you write descriptive scenes that seem real. I just wish they were longer.


( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: June 19, 2002 )

to jetman jake
That was incredibly short and incredibly good. Very realistically written.

I wonder what would happen if you continue in that latter vein.

It sounded like an excerpt of a short-story.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: June 19, 2002 )

This is what my english teacher used to call a Nugget. It's not a story; there's no plot or development, just a single scene. But it is very well crafted - I really liked the way it's written. It isn't a short story, but then doesn't have a category for nuggets.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: December 8, 2002 )

re: nuggets
Actually, we do. It's called "Flash Fiction". I think that this would fall into that category.

( Posted by: Chrispian [Admin] On: December 8, 2002 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.