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the light is fading
with it im fading
back into reality
my mood is falling
low
like the tide pulled
out
now
i want to cry

------
*laura*


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The following comments are for "Dissappear"
by englishgal16

falling mood
This is nice Laura. I like the way the form of the poem seems to be fading away till the emotion at the end comes up for the subject. I noticed you have no caps - is that by choice? It makes it look innocent and young. I would consider dropping out 'pulled' to see what that might do to keep the form in line with the rest. I don't think it needs it when 'out' in the next line suggest that already. Good job Laura. You didn't say to much but implied a lot of things. warm regards huni.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: March 18, 2005 )





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