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Callous Sun
with the coming of dawn
you command a legion
of feverish shadows
Through
this contorted
Valley of Gods
They Will
March

Like beasts of the
darkest hour
they feast on all that
is pure and plagued by
Innocence

And as the
Blood Soaked Sun
sets in the West
gathering its
shadows like lost
children

They Will
March
On and On
like
Men
Men of honour......



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The following comments are for "Valley of Gods"
by 0207070

02070 - Excellent!
This poem flows incredibley well, and even the cadence of it feels mysterious and dark.

"plagued by Innocence"

"And as the
Blood Soaked Sun, Sets In the West
gathering itís
shadows like lost
Children..."

I find these brilliant! Very vivid. Good Writing.

Felicia


( Posted by: FeliciaStone [Member] On: March 18, 2005 )

"valley of gods"
You capitalize words like "will," "in" and "on," but not "honour." How did you decide? Makes no sense to me. In 3rd stanza.."its" does not require apostrophe.

What does "plagued by Innocence" mean?

What kind of "honour" are you talking about? "Contorted," indeed.

B

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: March 18, 2005 )





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