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We must move this nation
away from the denomination of indecision.
Indifference is the force that erodes our soul
Cutting the cord that connects the soul to the sword
Unshroud the eyes that for too many years
have been blinded by tears, blinded by fears.
The collective voice must make a choice
that will shake and thunder beneath the herds.
Throw your fists to the skies.
It is time to break the lies.
Deception and degredation is no exception.
Insensitivity, Impartiality, Neutrality is no immunity.
It does not stop the war that has fought on too quietly
for too long
Furious angels will rain down hard,
bringing down with us the clouds and the stars.
We will stand up and fight,
tear down the floodgates of injustices and torment
with our courage and might.
I strike the toll and then you'll know
the human heart is bigger than the world.



------
Stephanie W.


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Comments

The following comments are for "A Pulse to the Void"
by FurryNippleRing

My favorite part was..
Neutrality is no immunity.
I love the line how it flows because it so long yet it says so much with it all there. Even with being all by yourself you truly not exempt from anything.

( Posted by: ryangilr0y [Member] On: March 16, 2005 )

ryangilr0y
>Even with being all by yourself you truly not exempt from anything.

Isn't that the truth.. that's pretty much the meat of this thing. I'm workin on incorporating this idea into a full blown story.. I appreciate the comment very much ^__^ Thank!

-Steph

( Posted by: FurryNippleRing [Member] On: March 20, 2005 )

suggestions for future drafts
hmmm...
i feel like your poem is telling a story. the speaker is obviously the hero. i got to thinkin, who is the villain?

"away from the denomination of indecision."
denomination can also refer to a religion or a congregation under a faith.
since you mention the soul why not play up this religion metaphor?
"Unshroud the eyes that for too many years
have been blinded by tears, blinded by fears."

what has shrouded our eyes? perhaps you could further identify this unseen opressive force.
have we built a "religion" of sorts meant to maintain order but instead teaches conformity making it a prison?
"It is time to break the lies.
Deception and degredation is no exception." once again whose lies? whose deception?

just a thought...

ttyl!
love,
~P.

( Posted by: 45Justice [Member] On: March 23, 2005 )





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