Wanna hear a funny story? Okay, stop reading this right now.
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In the morning after a big holiday party, three friends wake up with a bad hangover.
[Person 1]: Awwwww man….. I’m so wasted. How much did we drink last night?
[Person 2]: Does it really matter?
[Person 1]: I guess not.
[Person 3]: Hey, who’s that?
Person 3 points to a fourth sleeping person.
[Person 1]: I dunno. Must not have noticed ‘im when he came in last in. Well, better wake ‘em up.
Person 1 shakes the fourth person. No response.
[Person 1]: Dude? Dude! Wake up, dammit!
Person 1 flips the fourth person on his back and finds a knife deeply imbedded in the middle of his chest.
[Person 1]: Christ!
[Person 2]: What the hell happened!
[Person 3]: Augh!
The three panic for a few minutes before person 1 comes to his senses.
[Person 1]: Alright…all right…alright…stay cool…stay cool…we just…have to do…the logical thing. I’ll call the police.
[Person 3]: Don’t call the police! They’ll think we did it!
[Person 1]: No! All we have to do is explain what happened, and I’m sure they won’t…
[Person 2]: Wait, how DO we know one of us didn’t ice ‘em?
[Person 1]: Why would any of us do that?
[Person 2]: We were pretty out of it… It’s quite possible they who did it was in a drunken haze…
[Person 1]: Let’s not start suspecting…I’ll call now.
Person 1 heads to the phone and calls the police.
[Person 3]: Notice how he is so damned calm about?
[Person 2]: Yeah, he’s trying to take control of the situation…
[Person 3]: No… I bet he did it…and when the police get here, he’s gonna pin it on us!
[Person 2]: Yeah, right.
[Person 3]: No, I’m serious. We have to stop him!
[Person 2]: Yeah, now that you mention it…he does seem overtly calm…
[Person 3]: That’s the idea! Let’s go.
Person 2 and Person 3 sneak up behind Person 1, who is still on the phone.
[Person 1]: Yeah, that’s the address…Please get over here quick.
Person 2 and Person 3 tackle Person 1 and take him to the floor.
[Person 1]: What the hell are you doing!
The three wrestle on the floor for a few minutes. Person 3 grabs the knife from the chest of the fourth person, pulls it out and thrusts it into the fray.
[Person 1]: Ack!
Person 1 dies.
[Person 2]: Christ! What didja do that for!
[Person 3]: You know…heat of the moment…
[Person 2]: But you just pulled a knife outta dead guy’s body and stabbed another guy with it!
[Person 3]: It was an accident!
[Person 2]: No it wasn’t! Ya know what I think? I think you killed the guy! And then you killed our buddy to make sure nobody knew!
[Person 3]: No No No No NO NO!
The two begin to fight. During the battle, Person 2 grabs the knife out of Person 1 and thrusts it into Person 3’s head. He dies instantly.
[Person 2]: GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE! I KILLED SOMEONE! I’m A MURDERED!
Person 2 grabs the knife out of Person 3’s head and stabs himself in the chest.
An hour or so later, the police come into the home and discover not one but FOUR dead bodies on their hands. Two of them were murdered, apparently. The other two were suicides, one made last night and made that morning.
That’s it. That’s the end.