“Sir, would you eat this?”
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It was a bright mid-December afternoon, and the man stood on the corner of the street, waiting for traffic to cease so he could stroll to his next destination. After hearing the voice, he looked to his side. There, standing beside him, carrying one of those old green marble pouches was a small girl. She wore a fairly bright, thick winter coat, which in the moment it took to observe and analyze, allowed the man to assume she wasn’t homeless, which was good, as he wasn’t willing to listen to another hobo sob story.
“S’What?” he replied.
“I asked if you would eat this.” She responded.
“Why? What are you selling?” he asked suspiciously.
“They’re jelly beans, sir.” She answered.
“Oh…ahhh….” He stopped. What is the meaning of this? Should he take it? What if it’s stuffed with ecstasy or something? He silently thought and planned his actions, which would have worked if he didn’t blurt out “Sure.” Beforehand.
She took a red bean from her pouch, and held it out to the man. He stared at it liked a stunned…something.
‘Why am I doing this?” He said softly to himself.
“Because, it will give you the ability to read people’s minds.” She replied.
“Uhhh…You weren’t supposed to hear that…” He said.
“I didn’t. I READ it.” She explained.
It was by this time the man had realized the severity of the events. Okay, severity is a bad term. Oddness was better. A non-homeless girl was telling him jellybeans would allow him to read minds. Something that is both unbelievable…but strangely enticing. Still, it might be a joke, and the man was not going to let a kid insult his intelligence.
“Okay, Twilight Zone, Outer Limits, or Night Gallery?” He said sarcastically.
“Huh?” The girl looked confused.
“Ah, never mind. Where did you get these magic ‘mind-read’ beans?” He asked. Expecting some equally impossible origin for the impossible candies.
“I don’t what they’re called, but they are aliens from another dimension. They said I could use them to give everyone the gift of invading other people’s privacy.” She explained.
“Yeah, right.” The man said. The traffic light went red, the vehicles stopped, and the man hurried across the road, leaving the girl behind.
The saddest part of the story is that aliens from another dimension did visit the girl, and they did in fact give her jellybeans, which do in fact give people the ability to read minds. Those series of events go a little something like this:
It was the middle of the night, and when girl should have been asleep, she was not. She was excited. Who wouldn’t in this day and age? It was almost Christmas! The most wondrous and capitalist of holidays! And as the girl lay in her bed, thinking of all the bright lights, candy, and other useless junk that would accompany the holiday, it was unapparent to her that three balls of static energy had entered her room from a mysterious hole in the wall.
“Where are we now?”
“This doesn’t look like Sector 29.”
“But maybe it is!”
“No, it isn’t”
“Just a thought.”
“Well, a thought from you…”
But before the energy ball could continue it’s put-down aimed at its companion, it looked over to its side, and saw a very stunned looking carbon-based life-form staring back at them.
“…Uh-oh.” It sputtered.
“Oh, I guess this isn’t Sector 29.” Its partnered lamented.
The girl looked on. Unable to say a word. Unable to move. And for good reason. It wasn’t every night beings of pure energy enter your room through a hole in the wall and argue about whether your room was Sector 29. But the beings glared back, or she assumed they glared, confirmation completely impossible because of their lack of eyes.
“Ummmm…we’re not really here. We’re your imagination! Yourrrrr imaginatioooooon!”
“Shut up you moron.”
It took a few moments before the smarter of the two beings talked again.
“Look. We’re from another dimension. We’re superior to your race. Blahblahblah. Yadayadayada. You’ve seen movies, you know how it goes.” It explained.
“Okay, you have sort of holiday going on soon on this planet, right?” It asked.
The girl said nothing, only nodded once.
“Right. So, why don’t we, as a sign of peace, give your inferior people one of our many great skills? Here.”
And in the blink of an eye, a pile of rainbow-covered shapes appeared on the floor. They were jellybeans, no less.
“Eat these, and your people will be gifted with the ability to read minds! Just don’t tell anyone you saw us.”
The girl finally got the courage to say something.
“Why would anyone want to read minds? Isn’t that invasion of privacy?”
“That’s your call.” It said.
Then, just as fast as they appeared, they vanished. The last thing heard from them was an echoing “This time, I'LL navigate!”
It took a few hours for the girl to think things through. Then she came to a conclusion: She would indeed spread the alien’s gift throughout the world.
Now, back to the present hour. The girl now sits in a police station. Seems some of the people she approached called in to complain. She now awaited the arrival of her parents. The jellybeans? Confiscated. They thought they might be laced with LSD. Unbeknownst to everyone, the beings that started the whole mess were watching from another area of reality.
“Well, that worked out WELL!”
“Hey, we told her not to tell anyone we gave them to her!”
“It did seem like a good idea at the time…”
“Maybe the people of this world are just not ready for such a power…”
“Or their just idiots. Let’s go get some eggnog…”
END OF TRANSMISSION!