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c i v i l i z e d z o m b i e s

there once was a time when i had ideals, morals, reasons to believe that anything that i wanted was obtainable. it wasn't a self centered belief either -- i would preach as often as possible to everyone around me about the glory that they held dormant in themselves. eventually it became so that too much time was used spreading the word to others and i had slipped out of the loop, and became someone that needed my kind of motivation as well.

so the soapbox broke, and everything that had kept it together: ideals, morals, and endless stream of encouragement were all scattered about -- as if in a dimly lit cave, reverberating with self doubt and past failure. then from nowhere, an unlikely muse came to me and relit the flame, dragged me from the cave, helped me gather all the pieces of the soapbox, and put me back on it.

now when i start gathering too much speed, and lose track of time, the muse puts a 'back in 5 minutes' sign upon my soapbox and leads me off to recooperate. these are the only moments allotted to gather myself, to tape up the soapbox if you will... and it feels good to get away from everything like that every now and then.

sometimes isolation is the only way to rediscover what you're living for.

because we are always distracted by the world and told what to think by our peers, the media, the religious sect and so on it becomes harder and harder to think on our own. some of us follow orders so often that when we do finally act on an original impulse a second of shock overwhelms us followed by a feeling of relief 'wow, i'm not a robot'.

to let go of what you've been told, to let go of all that's expected of you and to start expecting more of yourself is a difficult thing to do for most of us. there are often times when it seems near impossible to realize the temporary nature of what we 'must do' -- what will we be remembered for if all thats focused on are the short term, less permanent things?

to redirect our attention from what we're used to plopping in front of [i.e. t.v., newspaper, movies] and focusing on our own goals and realities is scary for most -- philosophers rarely get awards for getting us to shift ourselves. in fact being a friend to such ideas is often dangerous, or could put you on a few shit lists... but remember this: we live in a country where corporations literally run the government, all hoping to get your dollars in exchange for more sweet sweet mental conditioning. and we gladly eat it up simply because it's the easier thing to do... why fight the power when you don't have to? the downfall of enron is just another small crack in the wall of corporate control, more must be done to revitalize humanity, to get us off our asses and realize that instead of watching reality tv, we could be making our own. it's up to us to become active participants in our lives. it is in your hands.

so what are you living for?


The following comments are for "Civilized Zombies"
by phylum sinter

jessica - help?

Choosing not to use capitals was just a stylistic choice on my part, not any more or less. This piece was published in a local zine here in Southeast Michigan. Unfortunately due to some of the material -- some would call it all out 'gonzo', others would just call it illegal -- we don't have the chutzpah to put a 'feedback' address in the mag. Because of this it became apparent that posting my columns here might be a good way to get some feedback on the boundless topics that end up scribbled in notebooks late at nite around here. Thanks for the compliments on structure sense and such. I did notice though, that your overall rating was a 5 for this piece - what could've been done to make this rating higher?

Again, thanks alot for the reply, and any further advice you have [or anyone else reading this may have] is greatly appreciated!

( Posted by: phylum sinter [Member] On: June 17, 2002 )

counter joint
Just as a seperate non important completely unresponsable view...the enron part adds something temporal to the piece that makes it active in this time. I think that kind of personal attack on immediate experience is sometimes neccessary...but once again i have no opinion. Beep boop zop. back to watching pepsi take over the world.

( Posted by: Criom [Member] On: October 15, 2002 )

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