Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
10

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
10Myth

You must login to vote

And as I lie tranquil in this vast, blue August field,
The chill of the saccharine breeze kissing my skin,
I remember your warm, steady hand on my cheek
And that apprehensive affection in your eyes,
And wonder if perhaps, on rare occasion,
Your mind might wander to the thought of me
And those distant, frigid January days
And sense the dull ache of a forgotten moment,
The heat of my skin pulsing through your fingertips
Like the gentle lap of Pacific sunset waves,
And miss me as desperately as I miss you.



------
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." -- Voltaire

~Ashley Jean~




Comments

The following comments are for "Adonis"
by AGirlLikeThat

Sweetness
I like it, especially "vast, blue August field," "the dull ache of a forgotten moment," and "the heat of my skin pulsing through your fingertips." Those lines just grab me, for some reason.

( Posted by: TheNewStory [Member] On: February 25, 2005 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: