Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

(had to make it for an thama at school)

I still see them
My friends
If friends you
Can call them
For once they knew it
I only saw disgrace
And hate
Up on their faces
And of course
It went like an
Walking flame
Through the school
As I once walked
With peace in
I now walked with
War in school
As I came home
My father grabs me
By my arms
And shouted at me
Of being normal
And to not be an
And with that last word
There came a flame
Out of my mouth
A flame
Of words
And then I went
To my room
And put the music loud
And I fell asleep
I was dreaming
About school
I was not
At all
I heard the words
Behind me
Gayster, miss gaylie
Faggot, mister chick
I could not even
Sit normally
At the cafeteria
After all
My life does not belong
I can say it
To my father
Though he will ignore
Every single second he can
I do not feel save anymore
Neither home
Nor school
Nor outside
I shall write it all down
So that when they find this
They can see who the
Guilty ones are
And now
I only see
The shadows of life
And yet still
Im asking my self
If I did not flew
What will they then
Still have said
To me
Or in the future
Though still why
Cant some just accept it
That It truly exist
What is wrong

With not being straight?


Related Items


The following comments are for "With not being straight"
by Naijerana

Some notes.
I don't think your line breaks lend to the feel you're trying to give here. It feels accusatory to me, and the lines make it feel feeble. I think something more like this would work well:
I still see them-- my friends
If friends you can call them
I think the line spacing changes the way you say it, therefore changing the tone. I like the subject, and appreciate the dilemma.

( Posted by: shefallssoftly [Member] On: February 23, 2005 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.