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Dare I gaze upon your perfection,
Beneath the moon's pale reflection?
Glorious beauty upon the shore,
Causing my spirits to highly soar.

Glistening water matching my eyes,
As I behold you under night skies.
A perfect memory I'll ever keep,
To remember in my dreamful sleep.

Craving so deep to merely touch,
The one I cherish so much.
Just briefly to have, hold, and adore,
Would fulfill my being to the core.

You don't see how amazing you are,
On this beach, my northern star.
Showing where I should have sailed,
But alas again I have failed.

For that moment I stopped needing,
But my lost love still was pleading.
I adore having you with me near,
Sharing my secrets void of fear.

This article is also on devtome.

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The following comments are for "Beneath The Moon"
by nelson

Moon over Beach
'Causing my spirits to highly soar' is a little hard on the eyes I'm sorry to report. It looks forced.

How about 'Who's image lifts my heart to soar' or 'Your image makes my spirit soar'

'Sharing my secrets void of fear' how about 'Sharing secrets without fear' The words 'secrets void' don't seem to flow nice. Maybe its as easy as a comma if you like them. 'Void' IS a stronger word than mine.

I like the images of love and loss you've created and the beach is a great setting for beginnings and endings. Hope this is helpful. -Philo

( Posted by: Philo [Member] On: February 18, 2005 )

The pattern here reminded me of Poe's "The Raven".

So many romantics on this site! That's good.

Inspiring poem, sir.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: February 18, 2005 )

I love this kind of romantic poems...natural beauty mixed with the beloved's one..:)
well done..really enjoyed it


( Posted by: fairgrace [Member] On: February 21, 2005 )

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