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For Love of The Night
Chapter one
It was late. The heat from the day still lingered in the air. The humidity was nearly too much to handle. Josh and mike lay silent in their beds, Tired from the days work and recreation, they took no note of the heat. After about 4 hours of sleep, Josh awoke in a cold sweat. His pupils flared as he screamed. He quickly calmed down and remembered were he was. He was no longer in the nightmare that haunted him only minutes before. He lay back down with his eyes open contemplating whether or not to go back to sleep. Almost the minute his eyes began to close he felt a sharp sting in his neck, then passed out under the pain.
The sun rose at 6:48 the next day and shined with all its brilliance thru the kitchen window of a cottage on a small island just off shore of Hieratic beach. Only the family dog was awake. The sound of sea gulls and other birds filled the air. The morning breeze brought refreshment from the night before. The crashing of waves against the shore was almost entrancing. As the sun climbed higher into the sky, Mike began to stir in his bed. Unable to sleep with the glare of it in his eyes he got up out of his bed and walked over to the fridge in the next room and grabbed a drink. He reached for a carton of orange juice, opened it and drank straight from it. After he quenched his thirst he went into the living room and turned on the television. At the cottage they only got a few channels. They had the news channel and the one that always had old 60s or 70s shows on. He checked out the news station. Nothing interested him so he turned the T.V. off. He walked into his room and shook Josh. Josh mad a weird mumbling sound and turned over. Mike tried again until Josh yelled at him, ”I’m up, I’m up”. Josh put on a pair of shorts and a light t-shirt. He wore no socks. They both left the room and went to the kitchen to fix some breakfast. They found a note on the counter. It read….

Hey boys.
Your father and I went to the store to do some shopping and then were going to visit aunt Deb. We should be back in time for dinner. I hope you two can fend for yourselves until then. Hugs and kisses. Love mom.

“so what do you want to do?” asked Mike who was seventeen, one year older then his brother. ”I don’t care, just so long as we can get out of here.” answered Josh. “why don’t we swim to the mainland and get some grub.” replied Mike. “that sounds like a plan!” exclaimed Josh.
The two of them changed into some swim shorts and put the clothes they planned to change into in a small orange waterproof sack. They put on their water shoes and headed down to the beach. They locked the door and put the key under the mat. As they left the house they noticed a strange figure on the shoreline. Josh ran as fast as he could toward it but stopped when he saw that it was only a large piece of wood. “I thought it was a person for a second!” yelled Josh. “me too!” replied his brother. After gathering his thoughts from the scare he continued back down the beach until he reached the shore. There he waited for his brother to join him. His brother was a really slow walker but If you put him in water he could swim circles around a dolphin. The trip across the water wasn’t very long but once you got going it could seem to take forever. They started out swimming slow, just doing a basic backstroke so they could conserve their energy. The water was cool and refreshing. They could occasionally feel the tickle of weeds on their feet as they passed shallow parts in the trip. They stopped for a second and put on their goggles. The then began to swim belly down so that they could scout the bottom of the lake for fish, turtles even the occasional water snake. On this trip the fish seemed to be scarce. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere a huge pike swam only feet beneath them. They boys were in a state of complete awe as they looked at this fish. It had to be at least 4-5 feet long, clearly a record breaker. Then the two got a little scared because if the fish saw them it might mistake them for food. As the beast swam on it eventually left the boys range of sight and they quickly calmed down. Josh looked up out of the water and saw that they were only about ten yards away from shore. They kicked on until they reached a depth where they could walk with ease. The two stood up and walked the rest of the way to shore. When they reached their destination the two sat and put on their good dry clothes and let the sun dry the rest of them. The sun was beginning to get very hot on the boys so they got up went to a shady spot underneath a willow tree. They sat there talking about the pike they saw and how big it was. Mike joked and said that he has seen bigger but Josh knew he was only joking to hide the fact he was scared when it appeared out of nowhere. It was about 11 o’clock and the boys stomachs were growling at them like their old cat used to do when the dog came near it. They got up and slowly walked over the hot sand toward the road that led into town. On their way they glanced at the occasional good looking chick in a bikini. Most of them were too old for either them and the ones who were about their age weren’t much to look at. But from time to time there was the odd girl who looked like girlfriend material. Josh and mike both looked at each other as a really hot women of about 16 years of age walked by and smiled at them. They looked away quickly as she looked back at them. They laughed to each other and continued their trek to the local Wendy’s.
Once they reached their destination they took a seat and walked up to the cash to make their order. Josh got the classic double with cheese, biggie fries and a coke while Mike got the classic triple with super size fries and a root beer. They sat and talked about the girl that walked by them earlier. The conversation took a drastic turn when Mike asked what happened to Josh the night before and why he woke up screaming. Josh didn’t want to talk about it for fear that his brother would make fun of him. Surprisingly for Josh, Mike let up on the question and they got back to eating and talking about girls. It was about 12:30 when the boys finished their meal and thru out their garbage. They walked outside and talked about what to do.
“hey why don’t we go to pits.” asked Mike. “its dark there man.” replied Mike. “awww are you scared?” joked Mike. “fine. Last one there has to jump in first!”
As the two were running they yelled back and forth to each other. They wind blowing by them as they ran brought refreshment for the day was getting very hot. The humidity wasn’t as bad as the day before so it was easier to tolerate. It was about a 2 mile trip from the Wendy’s to the pit. The pit was a giant cavern that was shaped like an upside down funnel. It dropped about twenty feet into a hidden lagoon. The lagoon led out to the lake. There were big trees around and lots of other types of plants surrounding it. It was almost like a tropical oasis. They boys discovered it about two years ago and have been the only ones in the area to know about it.
They were almost at the pit when Josh started to get a weird tingling sensation on his neck. He thought it was just a mosquito or something so he ignored it. Mike was far behind Josh and was yelling at him to slow down but Josh didn’t want to lose this race because he hates going in first because the last time they went Mike didn’t jump in after him and Josh was alone for almost 15 minutes until finally Mike jumped in. as Josh got closer to the pit he slowed down a little because they had to go deep into a forest and it was hard to navigate because this forest was so thick that you could barely take a step without hitting a tree, that’s why the pit was so secret. So as they got right to the edge of the pit they looked down into the dark abyss of the unknown…..

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The following comments are for "for love of the night"
by simon

re: for the love of night
I really enjoyed this piece. I was tuned in right form the start. The piece was easy to read and flowed well.

I was reminded of spending summers in the lake and the fish that do indeed mistake you for food, even the stupid little six inch long fish who think you're seaweed.

The last paragraph stopped me and I had to re-read it three times. Your sense of description and pacing was great up to that point, but the plot movement seemed a bit forced. I think this may have been due to some awkardly structured sentenaces in the last paragraph. For example, you used "because" twice in one sentence. A bit of editing would easily fix this up.

I really look forward to the continuation of this story. Good job.

( Posted by: Zebralicious [Member] On: June 13, 2002 )

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