Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
10

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
10JEANNIE45
10Teflon

You must login to vote

Aim for the moon
Your eyes the bow
And arrows, your tears
And miss completely
shooting the flowerbeds!



------
*************************************
crystal face I kiss
tongue tastes like sweet cold rain
I fall into pond




Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Moon, Neohaiku"
by peterpaulino

Peter: Playfully exquisite
Enjoyed this piece. Peter, You are quite the wordsmith. Bravo.


Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: February 8, 2005 )

Peter's back!
Hooray -- Peter's posting again! I've missed your work, my friend.

Another exquisitely-crafted, playful, sensitive gem from you. I will repeat what I have said before: you have a gift for capturing imagery and emotion in a few words, especially when dealing with romantic themes. You're the sort of poet we all wish we could be -- so that we could woo potential lovers, of course!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: February 8, 2005 )

Bob, Vipe, Lucie
Bob, thank you - wordsmith is such an ambitious title for me :)

Viper, lol woo poetential lovers? I hope my own poems could work for me. :) Thank you.

Lucie, of course you know this poem. I reposted only because I omited the punctuations and named it neohaiku which I hope Tef would approve of. Thanks. :)

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: February 8, 2005 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: