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9commercialends
10rancidsauce

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There is a woman I see every day on the 1 Kipps/Thompson bus on the way to school. She is round and her jeans stick to her legs. Her black hair is long and thin, hanging like frayed thread just past her shoulders. Her bangs never want to stay tucked behind her ears.

She giggles a lot for someone her age. Her face, pimpled and pock-marked, glows like brown play-doh.

Today a tall man with a plaid shirt and crooked glasses has his arm around her. He leans over and whispers something into her ear. She laughs and licks his face. Playfully. Fluidly. A quartet of young girls sitting at the back of the bus groan and throw small wads of paper in at them to no avail. Such displays make the girls uncomfortable; they prefer smoking cigarettes behind the basketball courts and swapping mentrual stories.



As I turn up my headphones I think about tomorrow, and how this rotund woman will be on the same bus, holding a different man's hand. Her new companion will give her thigh a good squeeze and she'll laugh, exposing two uneven rows of stained teeth. She'll rest her head on his shoulder and stroke the curve of his hand with her thumb.

Her fingernails will be dirty.

He won't seem to mind.


------
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen... there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change."

From his Last Will & Testament, Marquis de Sade


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Comments

The following comments are for "Riding a Bus: A Love Story"
by strangedaze

SD's Magic Bus...
Cool ride. Observations of the ordinary. Gleanings leading to art. Good stuff.


RW

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: February 8, 2005 )

nice little story.
she doesn't sound like someone you'd see on "eastenders". whoops, this is my stop. i'll keep looking for your work, strangedaze.

( Posted by: johnjohndoe [Member] On: February 9, 2005 )

Nice!
Always fine work. Being a female, I also noticed the "menstrual" thing too : )

I love this careful deconstruction of daily routine. Very well done.

( Posted by: everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: February 10, 2005 )

next stop...
The details are what make this a good piece. Next stop...(I really want to say, "The Twilight Zone" just out of habit but of course, it is not applicable here. Or is it?)

( Posted by: poesandpoetry [Member] On: February 10, 2005 )

Riding a Bus
It is a girl thing I tell you, noticed the same thing as the girls above. Loved the story, but we need to get that girl a manicure!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: February 19, 2005 )

funny period
No pun intended. I very much enjoyed this piece, although the depth of character which usually makes flash fiction work is missing here, especially in the secondary characters (the "Heather"s, and the narrator, I suppose).

Being male, I didn't notice the problem with "menstrual" but I did notice that it seems to be a fixation in a lot of flash fiction. Any philosophy about why?

( Posted by: commercialends [Member] On: February 20, 2005 )





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