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9macbeth
9Teflon

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Sailing in the sea of doubt
Your ship it swings and sways about
The time of day is running out
Your fate it lies beneath the waves

The south wind blows you to your doom
As you try to find the afternoon
But life has made that hard to do
With force and might you’ll make it through

To find that fire has no worth
To the center of the earth
You’ll take your train to find her there
She has no ticket, you’ll pay her fare

Go with her , you must to live
For without her he’ll not forgive
The things you’ve done in life to live
Are coming back to haunt your dreams

To keep you up with sounds of fear
Sense of safety to her is near
He’s coming for you by the night
To blind you eyes of loving light

To make you feel the taste of rust
Flow in your veins and out your eyes
An there’s nothing you can do
Once he makes it there to you


------
.ABANDONallHOPE.


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Comments

The following comments are for ".Sea of Doubt."
by ABANDONallHOPE

Hmmm

Well, I realy liked this. The meter is traditional which can be useful and tactful at times too. The third stanza was pretty cool, I think imagery could have been accomplished better. In the 4th stanza I was a little lost about the "he'll," but after another read through I saw that this was an out of body experience thing and he was looking/reflecting on himself. The 5th has this Yoda-like style going on. Which is pretty cool, because I used to take notes for American history like that, so I can appreciate it.
All in all it was pretty good. B

( Posted by: Xinerama [Member] On: February 9, 2005 )





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