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10LadyKimberly

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Its not who you say you are or pretend to be

It’s the real you that shines through for me to see

It’s the way your smile shines through the darkness people see

I find the real you piece by piece and day by day

It makes them look like fools when they guess who you are

I can’t wait till I fully know who you really are



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Comments

The following comments are for "It’s not…"
by poetfreak

I like how your poems...
I like how your poems are so often about discovery - especially in relationships.

I liked this poem, but I think you posted before editing. They are usually cleaner.

Here's a couple things:

In line three I think you meant "your"
In line five I think you meant "like"

and in the last line, I would put "fully" instead of finally, because the poem is about how you know her/him. You don't want to make it sound like you are just starting to. Does that make sense?

Again, I loved the content of this poem. I also love the way you weave a sense of loyalty throughout your work. I would guess that you are one of those strong, supportive types that everyone wants in their life?

Keep writing!

Felicia

( Posted by: feliciastone [Member] On: February 5, 2005 )

Thank you
Thank you for commenting on all of my work so far its a big help.

( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: March 7, 2005 )

I loved this one
Hey there,
I loved this poem maybe because you see your relationship clear and you are learning so much. Great Job!

( Posted by: LadyKimberly [Member] On: March 9, 2005 )

It's not...
Thanks for the feed back. I am glad that you like this write.

PoetFreak

( Posted by: poetfreak [Member] On: March 30, 2005 )

No Intention of Pretending
It's not what
you pretend to be
but what you intend to be

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: May 7, 2016 )





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