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Troy

“They are fleeing, we’ve driven them away.”
“Yes. Helen you ‘re safe now from the Greeks.”
Helen smiled, her face a heavenly dream.
“We celebrate! We drink wine! Rejoice!”
They did with huge fires to cook the oxen
Fuel shortages? Not with a wooden horse.

The End
Cleveland W. Gibson


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The following comments are for "Troy"
by Cleveland W. Gibson

Herm...
I like your ending a lot; it's definately the focus of your piece. Since your ending is strong, I'd work on your word choice early on, since every word needs to count with fiction of this length.

( Posted by: jetman_jake [Member] On: February 3, 2005 )

Clever
lol.

That was my first instinct when reading the Illiad, "Burn it you fools!" Trojans, for what it's worth, didn't have the street smarts one might expect from them, oh well.

I liked your piece; very clever.

But alas, I will not rate it. You can though. That's right, you're allowed to rate your own work. So go for it, You could have a 100% rating! Imagine being the best of the best -- Along with everyone else...

( Posted by: dao05 [Member] On: February 3, 2005 )

TROY
Well thanks for reading 'Troy'. It was a fun piece.I quite enjoyed writing it. The constraint is the word limit. Too many words and the punch is lost.I'll have another look at it though.
CWG

( Posted by: Cleveland W. Gibson [Member] On: February 18, 2005 )





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