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The breath of kings of ancient tongues
Have been recorded in our minds
Selective hearing has become
The destruction of our present times

The days for change have past us now
Our lessons too late to learn
The ravaging of good ideas
And people have now to burn

The tears of earth's embracing love
Have ceased falling from the sky
The taste of milk from udders of truth
Have been stoppered and run dry

The search for personal happiness
Has clogged the drains of pity
Our lives are now too good to waste
On those who's needs aren't pretty

------
.ABANDONallHOPE.


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Comments

The following comments are for ".Polluted Conscience."
by ABANDONallHOPE

udders of truth
I was especially taken in with the opening stanza, the flow and artistry are seamless and effortless. The overall sentiment is apropos to
our time in "the last hours of ancient sunlight".
There was one phrase I found distracting though, what was it? Give me a minute, I'll remember. Oh, yeah..

( Posted by: SaintEnvious [Member] On: January 28, 2005 )

revision?
Would you suggest a revision? Nothing is ever a final draft for me. Thanks for the comment.

( Posted by: ABANDONallHOPE [Member] On: January 29, 2005 )

revision

As far as I would suggest a revision, it only goes to show how much I wish I had written this piece. I've found a cadence within the verses;

The breath of kings of ancient tongues
Have been recorded in our minds
Selective hearing has become
Destruction of our present times

The days for change have past us now
Our lessons late to learn
The ravaging of good ideas
And people now to burn

These tears of earth's embracing love
Have left the falling sky
Our taste for milk from uttered truth
Bereves our thirsting cry

Our personal search for happiness...

(I'm out of time, too bad, this one's quite arresting. Write on dude!)

Shawn









( Posted by: SaintEnvious [Member] On: January 29, 2005 )

and...
Our search for personal happiness
Conceals our loss of worth
Our will is drained and left to clod
What mercy brings to earth

[lines 7, 8;]
the ravaging of good ideals
and people left to burn

Your poem was an inspiration,
this is my tribute to your muse.
In admiration,
Shawn


( Posted by: SaintEnvious [Member] On: January 29, 2005 )





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