Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

theres too much to say
its like im spilt,or maybe confused
my heart tends to pull
wantings wings to fly,and yet here i lay

im not quite sure of how i feel
half wnats to hide, half wants to scream
still tangled up in me...
maybe its the reason i cnat get to sleep

scraching scratching at this surface of mine,
perfact outside and yet my skin crawls,
you dont see it, you cant see this pain
youve never seen me, not in this pose

hold my hair back as stare down into the water
rippleing my image each time,
my gilt floats to the top, my shame dripping from my throat
i still cant stand the taste.

What the fuck is wrong with you cant you just look into my eyes
stop avoiding the damn thoughts
you know im not right,not who i use to be
hell maybe you never knew me anyways

no one knows me,no one not even me
shhh no one needs to hear these things keep them
keep them deep inside
why the hell not ive been doing it for most my life

its not like anythings truely wrong
my mind is raceing thoughts thrown this way and that
and sure i dont wnat to face the truth
but my once happy world is broken, theres no where to hide

but i'll try to hold it in.

*the present is just a pleasant interruption of this past...*

Related Items


The following comments are for "holding it in"
by Angelwithapast

Krista's first post...
Here's the thing. I understand anyone can post at this site. Any age. It can be a first or rough draft. Unedited. Doesn't seem to matter. I've seen the frustration of some at Lit., when it comes to reading pieces with poor spelling and lacking basic grammar. When I post and see a spelling mistake, I pull it and fix it. Krista, I stopped counting at 20 grammatical errors. I don't care if you don't capitalize anything. I didn't count that. But someone who has their own website should think more of their work. That's my take. Keep writing, but make an effort to have it presentable for the reader. Your piece could be pretty good if you care enough to make it so.


( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )

Re: kristas first post
thank you for the coment it was nice of you to point out my typos as someone who seems to know more about posting.Yes i will see to fixing my posts. I will take this advice and use it, however i am not a professional and i write for fun. This isnt for anyone eles but they are welcome to read it, just becuz theres a couple of spelling mistakes. I also found it kind of rude that you comented on all of the bad things and never one comented on the poem which is the whole point. Constructive critisim only works if you at least think to make note of what should be read...not typos...but the poem its self. Thank you for comenting i will take the advice to heart.

( Posted by: Angelwithapast [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )

Krista: "Keep writing"...
Go back and read last sentence of my comment. That's after I encouraged you to "Keep writing"...I would not have taken time to comment in such detail if I didn't think there was something there worth the effort. To me, it's not a finished piece, as posted. I'll be glad to comment on it when it's finished. I'm sorry if you thought it "rude"..

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.