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I am home!
You are feeding the baby. Nastenka is drawing paisleys on your stockings.

“What a delicious rug rat,” I say, among other baby words to her, as I take away the crayon and sweep her up.
You work in holy silence. You concentrate on our sweet baby girl wearing the hilarious bib. I know that creamy goop and your mothering is why our girls are so sweet.

I do not help you. I do not distract her so you can sneak in a dab of vegetable mush into her mouth. I do not hear you ask me to pop the linguine con carne into the microwave. I watch your mouth, that unforgettable, sweet, Cupid's-bow mouth. I watch it tense up into a disapproving bowtie - and you look so maternal, so librarian, so schoolteacher, and so immoral. I wish I had more baby clones of you with whom to crawl around on the carpet now.

You do not ask me about the day at the consulate. You do not even get up to kiss me. I do not mind. You know it was a long Orwellian party meeting through which I sat playing with the visa stamp, daydreaming, trying to guess the divine purpose behind the heavenly creases of your lips.

In my perfect suit I lean on the equally spotless sink and I am a voyeur: you sit prim and proper in front of the high chair, knees together, your well-groomed sleek hands guiding nourishment into my flesh-and-blood that we made in your image. Dashenka is blowing bubbles, your lips are poised as if to blow out a tiny candle. You cajole her queenly. She gurgles the food, and finally, for my pleasure, spits it into your face. Your beauty is steadfast. I clean your delicious face with kisses.
You smile in protest.
I am about to make you pregnant.

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The following comments are for "The Baby"
by Teflon

Poetry or Prose
I liked this although it left me a little disturbed at the end. It had the feel of a clash between what is warm and comforting (home) and what is harsh and unforgiveable (the outside world).

I know you titled it Flash Fiction, but it felt more like poetry...



( Posted by: Jeff [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )

parade eyes
You got that right - the conflict between the grotesqueness of the outside world and the lush, womb-like paradise of family life centered around children and the trophy wife !;-)!

But since you're picking up poetry vibes - it's for the better. Thanks for the feedback, I didn't know my state of mind :-)



( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )

Me Like
I like the way both Ralph and Alice (My pseudonyms for your characters) objectify and ignore each other. Ralph ignores Alice at a human level -- there is no trace of love or empathy or understanding in his thoughts, just lusting after a prize. Alice is too wrapped up in her own activity to pay Ralph any mind. I got the impression that, to her, Ralph is just the mechanism that pays the bills. To Ralph, Alice is the baby machine.

A fascinating combination of 1950s pseudo-tradition, character study, and outright creepiness. Kickass work.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: January 26, 2005 )

On Making Babies
Yea, say verily - how remote such a woman be, please, agree with Penelope - as remote as a far pavilion of Xanadu. Especially when the New World Order Party has deemed that the woman be renamed into a female hiking teammate, and especially when you know that Teflon the Politically inkorrect man had secreted his Mrs. Teflon in his Teflon Pavilion, where he has trained her to be his 50's-like baby-making slut in garter and hose, and, don't forget, to do the full routine on the home gym's exercise machine, to keep that belly just right and not too tight.

Your faithful server,

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: January 26, 2005 )

KEEP me in mind....your writings are insite, and a delite.... cant comment more, take care,, Hope 2 BBS

( Posted by: CoCo [Member] On: February 12, 2005 )

CoCo, CoCo, CoCo...
I kind-a had you in mind in a way, and you must have surfed Lit telepathically. A woman who likes to dress well and have babies AND possess ESP is hard to find nowadays.

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: February 12, 2005 )

Teflongone @ dot com
Tef, I read your comment and had to check out this new website....I see um, well put it this way I am either very gullable, or just plain stark mad.....I followed the link to no where, and safely landed back home in Lit.

Funny, Tef ;)
dar xo

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: February 12, 2005 )


I just saw you on the site... and I always wanted to thank you for that really nice comment you left on one of my works, I think: "What Dreams May Come." It put me at a loss for words.

( Posted by: seanspacey [Member] On: February 12, 2005 )

@Dar - apologies
Dar, I apologize for joking in one my WF ways. I get bored with my own signature. That's all. But isn't it cool to sign with a contextual domain name:

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: February 13, 2005 )

YES I think it is alot of fun the way I read your many ways of being Teflon.
I am sorry I never even left my comment on your nice piece of .......FF.
It does read like poetry, flows with the "Teflonging" to please your readers and this does please me. I love the contrast of it.
You sir are a brilliant mind, jovial and caring. Thank you for sharing yourself with US@Lit.

Take care and keep that mind working overtime.

Most respectfully,
Dar ;)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: February 13, 2005 )

The Baby
If these were boys, I'd swear this was my house and my family a couple of years ago. Alas, now there are three as just might be with "Ralph and Alice"! Great job on this peice, I really enjoyed it.

( Posted by: Eleanor [Member] On: February 13, 2005 )

Teflon - kudos
I loved everything about this. It was perfect, and yes - it flowed like poetry.

It reminded me of my life a while back too, except for his noticing me caring for the children and my not jumping up to welcome him home and feed him while settling the kids somewhere busy and comfortable as not to bother Daddy.

A great write!


( Posted by: FeliciaStone [Member] On: April 13, 2005 )

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