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If only her islet in the sea
hasn't faded to a distant dream;
a dream thats sprit has went
to a cement jungle's screams
for frolics on its absent sand.

But, maybe if Hamlets sigh's
could of ceased their gestic ways;
Indecisive ways I'll never forget,
Not sweat, nor tears cried
could of made me a decisive guy.

yet, only I loath those gimlet eyes,
but Mr Edgar Poe, and me
are known to love a piercing gin.
So my jaded peepers have not since
laid eyes on her beauty, or its likeness.


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The following comments are for "Lost Love"
by Jp

Lost Love
as always I love your peoms JP.

( Posted by: flowersprite [Member] On: January 22, 2005 )

well... okay.
this poem has a good flow, and some nice imagery. I like where it goes, however, there are some problems in grammar and spelling, that i feel take away from your impact. I'm not sure what yo umeant by
"thats sprit" did you mean "that spirit"?
i don't know what gestic means, but that could just be me...
and i think the word "peepers" is a little odd here.
please uderstand, i'm not trying to criticize, i just ... i guess i liked it, but saw how it could be better...

( Posted by: nimue_the_mighty [Member] On: January 26, 2005 )

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