Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
10

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
10chapter1

You must login to vote

A/N: A comment Bart left on one of my poems, recently, sent me to assigning myself this.

You lived on three continents.
The first gave you your birth eyes,
their loveliness,
their temperate climate
and a radius for prophecy.
You had irises
descended from fairy queens
enthroned in virgin forests,
the crystal magic of something
long-beloved only souls know.

And then you fell,
odd-angled,
onto the next continent,
where he found you
and where those eyes gazed like
they never even learned to look,
where they carried in them heaven
from one day to the next,
where your heart did nothing
else but love.

Far away on the third,
your t'ai chi rose from fluid
to vapours: you, the lithesome
mistress of the ambient air
among fishnets drying,
baking on beaches
under an intrepid sun.
Mornings entered you like breath,
already reverent,
already pure.

And then, you fell once more,
from happy endings,
to where your eyes turned
even more pale,
ice floes reflecting both river
and sky: you grew new eyes
so you could die here,
on the second continent
where you collapsed, odd-angled
and so far away, home.


------
Of all known institutions, I attend only two: church, in my heart, and school, in yours. Both are subject to demolition. - Lucie Adams, 2007
It is only for poetry to know how many stanzas fit into one caress. - Lucie Adams, 2008


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Fall from happy endings"
by windchime

Fall
I absolutely love the rich imagery you used here, and am inspired to write, in an attempt to write as well as you do. Thank you for posting this.

( Posted by: TamiJane [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

Windchime
You're right -- that's an excellent quote.

And this is an excellent poem, too. You have an interesting approach, I've noticed (for this isn't the first time I've read your work, though it's been a while) -- you have a very visual style. Everything you write about seems to be conveyed in terms of what can be discovered with the eyes, even subjects that one normally wouldn't think of in such a way.

That, to me, is fascinating. And you use that approach well in this poem.

"your t'ai chi rose from fluid
to vapours". That's pretty cool. I never would have thought of anything so lovely.

That's the best thing about this site: I get exposed to so many talented people who think in ways I can scarcely understand. Makes my day.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

Tami, Viper
Thank you both for stopping by and commenting.
Viper, I appreciate that you get this; you must, then, have some idea how much I suffer, on this site, not being able to see the living eyes of anyone...
Tami, we all have our strengths on this site. You get to the point. I do imagery. Teflon noticed, too.
Lucie

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

Lucie, connected
We sure are connected in the way we love to approach things....I love the way you wrote this. Your style is unique and your ideas are always fresh...(I don't think I have ever read a stale poem of yours at all..)
You always come across as knowledgeable and not afraid to use your mind, and it is a beautiful thing to do, use your gift to share with others who will be inspired by you.
Thank you for being unselfish and sharing with all of us.
Darlene :)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

Favorite parts
I especially loved these parts:

where they carried in them heaven
from one day to the next,
where your heart did nothing
else but love.

the lithesome
mistress of the ambient air

Felicia

( Posted by: feliciastone [Member] On: January 12, 2005 )

Darlene, Felicia
Thank you both for reading and commenting.
The woman in this poem died in September 2003.
She was in her early forties.
She had had an interesting life.
Darlene, stay! I need you here. You keep my wandering spirit in focus!
Lucie

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: January 13, 2005 )

Odd Angled, Far Away
Lucie ~ As much as I liked the orignal poem which sparked this, I'm absolutely enamored of what you have, here. I especially like

Where those eyes gazed like
They never even learned to look

which seems to speak volumes about the process of becoming spiritually crushed by daily minutae. An excellent poem; I'm sorry to be so late in finding it.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: January 22, 2005 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: