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9Bobby7L
8brad
8FangChen

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Needless to say,
he breathed,
as he poised his naked body on the end of the earth.

This encounter was a manifestation of the truth.

I do not love you,
but the feelings you evoke.

I took the lighted cigarette from his hand,
a token of mutual satisfaction,

AND......

I realized he spoke the truth,
as I in younger skin agreed,
that time would yellow all need for him as well.

But in the dim light of the hotel room,
he was for that moment my own enigma.

A pregnant pause altered the universe,

And we in one mighty wind turned old,
and found what we sought most,
was self ....





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Comments

The following comments are for "Needless"
by jade

Stalking Tina....
I thought I saw a wisp of blonde hair this way!!! :-)

Jade this is very sensitive and very original. I've missed your writing.

Alex

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: January 6, 2005 )

appreciation
I really appreciate the comments, and am so glad that you all have understood what I was trying to say.

( Posted by: jade [Member] On: January 6, 2005 )

jade: Mysterious need....
What a great read. Impressive work. Don't know how easy it was to write, but the word choices were just amazing.

Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: January 6, 2005 )

AND..
really didn't like the AND

( Posted by: brad [Member] On: January 13, 2005 )

JADE AND
The AND comment was not my only comment -- alone it appears bitchy. Wrote a long comment about how the first image could be the last. Also said I liked it. Where the comment went I do not know. I'll try to recreate its critical genius sometime soon.
Brad

( Posted by: brad [Member] On: January 13, 2005 )

needless
Brad you comments are welcome. Some people get me some don't such is life.

( Posted by: jade [Member] On: January 13, 2005 )

jade
But I do "get" you. Here, in a nutshell, is what my deleted comment (audible sigh of frustration) said:
Loved the tactile quality of the poem. Loved the "yellowing" of desire -- could feel and the smell the emotion.
Thought that the beginning image would resonate better at the end.
Important to me that you understand my appreciation for your poem. There. this one best get through, or I may stop altogether (and wouldn't that be so very, very sad).

( Posted by: brad [Member] On: January 13, 2005 )

brad
See my announcement on the front page, for an explanation on your partial comment.

Our apologies for the inconvience.

The next time you have a problem like this, letting us know about through email would be enable a faster response.

Thanks~

Bart

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: January 13, 2005 )

bart
duly noted and appreciated

( Posted by: brad [Member] On: January 13, 2005 )

Needless
Jade,

Happy to read you again. This poem sticks to your gut, it is powerful stuff! Great write.

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: January 13, 2005 )

LOL Brad!
LOL, Brad, no need to fret! I wrote as a parallel to a love poem a friend sent me. It was so full of false happiness I couldn't stand it. So I had to point out that when we seek out love in another we are actually seeking our own validation.

I think it is just great that we can all come here and share our passion, on any level, and with any style. That's not something we get to do at work and for most of us at home either.

The AND I guess was suppose to create a pause as the narrator is thinking. Perhaps there is a better way to do that.
It is only when we grow older that we realize that. Ah, if only we could learn to love ourselves at twenty they way we do at....well I won't tell my age!

Thanks again for your comment.

( Posted by: jade [Member] On: January 13, 2005 )





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