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10ivordavies
10Viper9

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(For the children)

Daddy, come down to the ocean
And stand on the wall by the sand.
Don't doubt my constant devotion,
Though I live in a distant new land.

I hear your voice my sweet daughter.
I hear, but I cannot believe.
Yet I have come to stand by the water,
Though I come, not to see, but to grieve.

Daddy, come down to the ocean,
Come walk the wet sand by the waves.
I am waiting with my last devotion,
Soon I must go far away.

Child, I know your face right well,
But I know not who you may be.
Tell me true, was it heaven or hell
That brought you back here to me?

Daddy, come quick if you love me well,
Take my hand and I'll lead you away.
I know little of heaven and less of hell,
Just come with me quickly today!

Daughter, remember your mother,
Grieving at home now for you.
Remember your sisters and brother,
Then you'll know what it is I must do.

Daddy, come down to the ocean,
And watch while the sea birds play,
And watch the waves roll with the motion
They had when they took me away.

------
Paul Godfrey


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Comments

The following comments are for "Come Down to the Ocean"
by SamPark

SamPark:Waves of emotion
That was a moving read. Well written. Heartfelt and sadly beautiful...

Robert William

( Posted by: bobby7L [Member] On: January 5, 2005 )

Sam's ocean
I love the poems that show warmth parenting sense
this is lovely


warm regards
fairgrace

( Posted by: fairgrace [Member] On: January 5, 2005 )

SamPark
I got terrible feelings in my stomach as I read this. For some reason it reminded me of something from a Stephen King novel.

I agree very moving, forgive my imagination.

Alex

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: January 6, 2005 )

Thank you for remarks.
Thank you all very much for the comments. There were so many children killed in the tsunami that I could not do them all justice trying to write it all. I felt that writing as intensely as I could about a single relationship and loss would be the best I could do. Thanks for helping me feel I reached at least some of my goal. Paul G.

( Posted by: SamPark [Member] On: January 8, 2005 )

Father and Child
Paul,

Sorry I have been so long in commenting on this. I saw it soon after it was posted but was in the middle of a chaotic week.

This is the best piece of work I have seen from you, not just for its flawless poetry but for the deapth of feeling and empathy you have expressed. I did not even try to put my feelings into poetry on this one, but only mentioned them in a rant.

You have captured the heartrending seperation of child and family, whilst still giving life to the people concerned. I feel, in this, you have got it completely right.

A very moving poem,

Thank you,

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )

Beautiful
Followed Ivor's comment here. I follow him everywhere! (He has good taste. Haha!)

Wow. I can hear a tune as I read this, actually. Like a maritimer's song. As a parent, I was deeply moved by your haunting poem -- which is rare, since most poems about children make my stomach churn. This is true, beautiful, writing.

Would you mind if I wrote some music for this? Something simple, and it would be purely for my own use, obviously.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )

wow...
Ivor, I, uh, thanks. And I mean that, You bring me near to speechless.
Viper, Sure! Is there any way you might share a copy of your music. I play with a guitar at times myself, and my wife and I would love to hear what you hear with the words. In any case, feel free, and thanks again, my toothy friend!

( Posted by: SamPark [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )





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