Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Wrinkles pressed away by cold sweaty palms
Finding your center with the stripes on your clothes
Looking at the flaking of your old leather laces;
Looking for symbolism in the knots within the bows

Wrinkles rubbed out of a warm sweaty brow
A wallet that's vacuum and a sachet full of coins
A pearly dented marble...a polaroid of a boy
Those dependable work jeans that girded your loins

A half-empty canvas of dried up acrylics
A portrait of poverty and unappreciated talent
Figures of the past that dance in the paint dyes
Pitched as a symbol of purpose and balance

Leigioned fingers and echoes in the bowels
The certainty of necessity brings a new start
Volumes of words secluded from the walls
The criticisms of the ghosts that inhabited the tarp

Still, we're all too human
So definitely fickle
It may mend the heart
But it won't pay the bills

Bond servants to our passions
And slaves to the streets
We all love aesthetics
But an artist must eat

Darting across an avenue
Hunted by machines
Sandwiched between the honks
The hushes and the screams

They fall on deaf ears
Creativity doesn't sell
No one needs art and
Books don't write themselves

Alex, The boy full of ideas

Related Items


The following comments are for "Artism"
by amusedlilboy


I liked the pieces of this more than the whole, but there are so many pieces of it, that you should not be disappointed!

You have some really great lines. Some could use just a bit of tweaking, or fine-tuning if you will. Take this one: "A wallet that's vacuum and a sachet full of coins". I'm sure that is a great line when there isn't a bit left out.

About the form you're writing in: I see that you switched mid-poem. It seem's as though you've almost written two difference poems. When I see a poet do this I assume they have a reason that I can't catch on to, so I ask for clarification. So......

Each half of your poem works very well within itself. The whole offers something great to think about. I think it would have left a greater impact if you would have kept it in the same form beginning to end - and particularly in the form of the beginning. But my tastes are my own.

Really good writing. I'm looking forward to your continued posting!


( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: January 4, 2005 )

Thanks for your comment and analysis of my poem :)
But, I like to keep my poems up for interpretation. I think it kind of ruins the mood when you say "Haha! Now I know what he means!"
And yes I do like to keep mysterious :)
But, thank you for the large comment, I will keep it in mind, and in the future, hopefully, they will be more consistent and flow well.

( Posted by: amusedlilboy [Member] On: January 4, 2005 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.