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It's all over, she said.
We are speeding away
from ourselves.
Like that line.
You know - the one that
vanishes into the middle of the picture.

Then I remember art class
and her hair, laying across my arm,
all damp with summer.
Our fingers pink from rubbing cheeks
into the faces of crayon girls
and the chalky smell of classrooms
and I know - I just want to
start again,
with her.

------
Not the poem which we have read, but that to which we return, with the greatest pleasure, possesses the power and claims the name of essential poetry.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Sweethearts"
by Huni

Huni
I liked this. Is this a 'girlfriend' poem? If this is, it's very very beautiful and cute and romantic!

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: January 1, 2005 )

Peter girlfriend
Peter, it's more about a mature relationship that is about to end. Her comment elicits a memory for him of times they where sweet hearts in school. That's when he realises he doesn't want it to end. Maybe it wasn't too clear - you know me though, always trying to tell a story. I guess it sounds girlie doesn't it. I tried to write from his perspective though. I used my own interest in art and made reference to that. French crayons, so soft and sensual to use. Thanks for your compliment and I've still to comment on your letters. warmest to you Peter, huni.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: January 2, 2005 )

Huni - crayons
That's it, the French crayons are what's so good in this poem... you know, it's my habit to reread your new posts whenever I find a new one. Thank you for clearing up the girlfriend thing to me though. This is beautiful.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: January 2, 2005 )

Chalky fingers
What a great poem. So many layers of intent. It's brilliant, and great to read and reread. You have told a story and said so much in few words. Very well done. Great work of art.

I especially adore the part in the first stanza about the line which fades into the middle of a picture. Artistic and wonderful.

( Posted by: everybodyelsesgirl [Member] On: January 2, 2005 )

Lucie/everybodtelsesgirl/Jess
Lucie, you made me think about my work. Your comment got me to realise just how much I love themes and integrity within the work and the circle effect of endings becoming beginnings and visa-versa. I don't think I realise consciously that I do that. Isn't that strange. Your comments always stimulate this brain of mine, thank you - huni

Everybodyelsesgirl, when my mum first taught me about the vanishing point I was only 8. But it always fascinated me. I was excited to use it in a poem like this. Thanks for your lovely compliment. huni.

Jess, It still shocks me when others say such things about this thing I do. It's only now in my life's journey that I can admit any worth in my work or skills. My innate self esteem seems to have survived life's brickbats but my confidence has always suffered. Lit. has certainly been a special place for me. I have no reason not to trust everyone's wonderful support and comments. I guess what I'm trying to say is: thank you Jess. regards huni.

Peter - in case you pop by. I wish I could send you a beautiful tray of French crayons so you could see why I love them so much. your gypsy.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: January 2, 2005 )

French Crayons Shipping
Pamela, peter1975march@yahoo.com, let's talk about the shipping of my French Crayons, LOL.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: January 2, 2005 )

I have only one thing to say
Huni~

When I finished reading this wonderful gem of a poem, I had one word on my lips.

"Wow"

I'm not often at a loss for words. But you took me there.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem.

Bart

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: January 2, 2005 )

schoolboy
Huni…you wrote a romantic flashback of a school boy’s love-story
I like your “reference to art” …crayons,,,chalks,,,etc

I enjoyed the read


Regards
Fairgrace

( Posted by: fairgrace [Member] On: January 3, 2005 )

My big mouth is speechless
I always have something to say. You know me; consumate critic. This time, though, nothing to add or subtract or edit.

I love moment poetry. I think that capturing the "feel" of a single, frozen moment is one of the most evolved goals of poetry. It's a very hard thing to do properly. You've done it here. Captured that one second, the instant of the saying, the hearing, the understaning, the memory, the longing of the narrator. In life, that's the way it happens. Boom! Boom! Boom! All in an instant, a moment.

But quietly. Like looking through multiple pieces of colored glass and seeing the final hue. Which is what this poem reminds me of.

This is exquisite.

( Posted by: andyhavens [Member] On: January 10, 2005 )

it is your avatar
It has the impressionistic taste. A venture into a new territory? Very fresh to read.


I think Lit would benefit from your WF avatar.

HAve a nice day,

TEflawn

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

Bart, Andy, Fairgrace
Thank you for the comments. I am overwhelmed and pleased. ..... and speechless. huni

( Posted by: huni [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

Teflon .... avatar won't move.
I would love to bring it over! Jess and Claire have tried so hard to do just that. It seems to have a watermark and can't be budged. I don't remember where it came from now and am at a loss what else to have. huni.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

tef "hate"
i noticed in your response to huni you created the acrostic "hate" -- wouldn't think much of it, but it was "ewe" that originated the previous acrostic thread. seems totally out of character, so i'm certain that it was unintentional. right?

( Posted by: brad [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

huni
since i bespoiled your comment thread, let me say that you remain my fav litorg poet. I never need to wade through verbosity to get to the beauty of your image. you make me feel.

( Posted by: brad [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

huni: Glad I came back..
Simply beautiful...Layered
wonderfully ..Your use of "chalky", "crayon","cheeks" and "classrooms" all combined is just perfect. Great read.

Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

Brad off topic
With comments like this last one Brad, bespoil away lad - bespoil away. And thank you - I am very moved by everyone's comments to this one. warm regards huni.

( Posted by: Huni [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

Huni's visuals
A great artist never has to explain his/her painting, nor should a great poet. I love that I visualize both in this poem of yours. Brevity and beauty...thanks for sharing this Huni.

Darlene

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: January 11, 2005 )

Brad HATE
The HATE acrostic is one of my more explicit cryptological signatures...Nothing to do with the subject matter, Huni, you, or anyone else.

Maybe I am battling HATE everyday...This poem maybe a guiding light for positive thinking.

Very cryptological of you, Brad!

NAno-MAsS,

TEflon.

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: January 12, 2005 )

Huni strikes again!
I'm always impressed by how easily your words bring to places where I feel the moment.

I absolulely love your work. You are a fresh breeze, here at Lit.

Felicia

( Posted by: FeliciaStone [Member] On: April 14, 2005 )





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