Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(2 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

Four legs boggle, angle bent
twitch-scratch wirebrush strokes
leave mindless trails of red
over sunbleached asphalt
a neurological caligraphy
I've scant desire to unravel
This "creature", no pet
fetcher of sticks, blanket-hog
but a tangle of
broken puncture skin
and bloody hard-top steam
reeks of meat
far from the quivering dart
that drove between hedges
with such cunning precision
so I detach,
awkward bone
and flesh avoid

Smile if you're stupid,
laugh if you understand.

Related Items


The following comments are for "Curbside"
by Bartleby

broken things
This is effective. Obviously I think that is a good thing, having attempted it myself, but funny that we write of awful things sometimes simply because they are effective. Thanks.

( Posted by: SamPark [Member] On: December 30, 2004 )

Ouch Bart
Now that I am grown and reading your roadkill poem I see why my mom furrowed with concern when I drew a picture called "broken bird" with crayons. It was bent up across roadlines in the street and dead.

This was stunning in a make-you-furrow way.

Question: "quivering dart" Is that the idling car that backed out?

Question: "awkward bone and flesh avoid" Did you mean "devoid" instead of avoid? If not will you clarify for me, for I'm fogged.

Thanks Bart for a cool and unusual poem.


( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: December 30, 2004 )

Detached at curbside..
Universal story told in 70 words...That smell. An invitation within the food chain. Detachment...Is that a "human" thing?....Good read.

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: December 30, 2004 )

GG's quivering dart
Gibson Girl~

This poem started as an exercise and is light years removed from both the material and the method of my "normal" poetry. If it shocks, stuns, or otherwise slaps you between the eyes with a two by four, good. It will have served it's purpose. I appreciate the time you took to read and comment on it, as I was anxious for some type of feedback on this most strange departure.

The "quivering dart" actually refers to the now deceased pet's last street jaunt, hence the dart between the hedges, but I think I might like your take on it even better.

Hopefully that clears it up for you.


( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: December 31, 2004 )

First things first: Seeing "GG's quivering dart" online is a really wacky thing that makes a person like myself laugh uncontrollably, so thank you.

Second: Thanks for elaborating! If you like my version, than the car would HAVE to be a Dodge Dart Swinger, 1973! LOL. Y'know, cuz it's a quivering 'dart'? Get it? Ahem. Yeah.


( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: December 31, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.