Canvas
by CJHerlihy (Member) - published: December 28, 2004
Word Count: 131 Word Bytes: 886 Viewed: 1193 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by CJHerlihy

8.66

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7	GibsonGirl

9	nae411

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Gales bring iciness and cold.
Winter storm boasts a strong hold.
Streetlamps glowing, shining forth.
Downy flakes swirling down to earth.
Diamonds lie glistening here and there.
Lonely moan of wind is all one hears.
Sitting and gazing I see from my window.
The roads overflowing with virgin snow.
Whispers of life is a painter’s canvas.
Are we not all here to serve some purpose?
Even with blizzard all is still serene.
The view so surreal and stunning.
As I sit here warm in my home.
I feel compelled to walk those roads.
Eager to break ties that leave me bound.
Outdoors is buried under a frosty mantle.
And indoors I wish to break my shackles.
Start fresh on this clean canvas before me.
Using my brush declare my individuality.

------
CJ Herlihy

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Comments

The following comments are for "Canvas"
by CJHerlihy

Carol - Canvas
Your canvas is white and pure and beautiful, Carol. This was like if you walked through the snow outside your house, it will be like already painting something on the canvass and for you to become its foreground will make a great masterpiece! I'll say it again: I can have no privilege of writing such a wonderful winter poem like this because we don't have such season here in my country.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: December 29, 2004 )

CJ: Your Canvas
Hi CJ:

I really got into this. I liked the couplets in rhyme. The metre was beautifully written. But then I stumbled:

"Sitting and gazing I see from my window.
The roads overflowing with virgin snow."

The second line to me indicated a break in your writing style. I could almost picture you writing this and having a mental block. You may have needed to go get some coffee. You may have sat back down and threw down the second line and continued throughout without regard to continuing with rhyme. Could you please reply with insight? I would love to hear about it!

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: December 29, 2004 )

Gibson Girl
I am not ignoring your request for insight. I am pondering the answer and will get back to you very soon.

( Posted by: cjherlihy [Member] On: December 29, 2004 )

Canvas
I love the way you painted this canvas with your words. You are a true poet CJ. I loved reading you!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: December 29, 2004 )

GG - Some insigh for you
Ok, this was my thought process which I hope helps you grasp where my mind was. I didn't have a block. Like on a canvas, I painted the background by describing the wintery scene. Like a painter, I then inserted myself into the picture which I didn't want to "blend" completely with the softer background and I did that by bringing a slight change of color, if you will, to the poem, without breaking up the canvas just altering it slightly.

What I hoped I was doing was giving people a universal canvas, into which I injected myself partway through making the scene mine.

Hope that helped

CJH

( Posted by: cjherlihy [Member] On: December 30, 2004 )

CJ: Thanks!
CJ:

I like your concept! That's nice! It would be nice to see that broken up in some way. If it be one canvas it would be hard to create a second stanza, but since it be one canvas it would be cool to see it shifted across a page. It's hard to have that format come across here, though.

All in all, very nice!

Lans

( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: December 30, 2004 )

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