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You did not believe

I could want you. That

your name would be my

name. That I would be

there and for the count.

And as I said my married

name outloud you laughed,

hurtful and hard. Often,

you said, one day I would awaken.

Then I'd see you for who you

were, you said, would leave for some

other, younger and brighter.

You didn't see you were he.

That I had made my choice,

forsaking all others for you,

for us, to live together

in giddy love, to help hold

up the roof when those eastern

storms blew in. Always it was

you.


------
Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti

http://www.tantmieux.squarespace.com/
http://www.sottovocce.blogspot.com/
http://www.cabinetist.blogspot.com/


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The following comments are for "faithless"
by sadijane

Sadijane
This was heart wrenching, I know this feeling well but to a certain degree less, as I could never be legally married to any of my own partners.

*hug*

Alex

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: December 22, 2004 )

alex
thanks, Alex - it's a tough thing, and awful that you can't be legally married. it should be a right afforded everyone in my view, but remember that to be truly married is in your own heart -- and if you feel that, then that is right and good.

my opinion, of course, but there you have it.

finding someone who lacks that faith in the relationship is hard, and going through what i went thorugh and finding out he lacked that faith was devastating... yet we live, we move on, we get over it somehow. we realize that for as hard as these things are, there is always something worse and so we move on. what other choice do we have? live and learn. if we look at it that way, we have never wasted our time for we have gained and grown from the experience.

thanks for reading and writing back.

all very best to you,

sadi

( Posted by: sadijane [Member] On: December 22, 2004 )

Sadi
It takes far more courage to end a relationship and go through life alone than to stay in a relationship that has turned onesided or habitual, one of the reasons I have so much respect and time for people like Demeter who have more courage than anyone has given them credit for, the same applies to you.

As for marriage I personally don't care for it, but like all cynics if somebody asked I would be flopping around like a school....urm.....*ahem*boy. :-)

It just takes courage, and if you can write about it then you are probably further along the road than you thought.

Best wishes

Alex xx

( Posted by: londongrey [Member] On: December 22, 2004 )

alex and grey
thanks to both. yes ending a relationship takes a great deal of courage. it's the hardest thing in some ways, esp. if you just know you love the person, yet you are not thriving. at the end of the day, you have to do what is right by you, because i think deep down, you know it won't work out.

all that said, marriages go through cycles and who is anyone to know what goes on between two people. i've always said that a good marriage is "two people sharing a delusion." sometimes it works, someitmes it doesn't but one thing for sure, it's never entirely a cake walk. for us now, eleven years and we cycle throughy so many phases, mostly good though, and some bad. m y writin g comes from what is actual and what has passed and sometimes whati'm feeling. but rarely is it so literal, so i should note that. i always said that to be a real poet, you have to know how to be a great liar to make any poem believable and convey your story. i think we all strive for this, and as well, strive to speak what the heart holds - we write down its secrets.

i'll get off my soapbox. i'm tired today and not feeling well... sorry all. and thanks for your comments both of you...

all best and hope you're having a good holiday week and all that stuff.

love,
sadi

( Posted by: sadijane [Member] On: December 23, 2004 )





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