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As darkness falls,
her face glows bright
from the light of a single candle.
Her eyes shimmer as the flame dances
in the gentle night breeze.
As I reach to touch her long flowing hair,
for that one moment in time,
I realize…..all is well.

~ Christopher S. Brown (2004)

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The following comments are for "All is Well"
by w3phreak

Phreak: All is Well
"from the light of a single candle."

I like that line.

I only have one suggestion for you. I would re-tool some of your descriptive words and images into less cliche bits. It's a great picture you paint, but there have to be more heartfelt and intimate details here in this portrait that you could share. What of the flowing hair captivates you? The flame dances of course, but is it struggling to stay lit? Is it bobbing? Does it make her eyes shimmer in a particular way? I think you could reach in your heart and pull out what you adore and smear it on the paper. Then share it. You really have a great foundation here.


( Posted by: GibsonGirl [Member] On: December 17, 2004 )

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